#34 – Story Time 2
FEAT OHIO FISH RESCUE & JOE'S SHRIMP SHACK
Transcript
Hey, guys, just a warning on this podcast. This podcast does have strong themes. This is not intended for children. Please go to our other podcasts if you want to continue our normal content with the same rating. We have storytime. And storytime, by its nature, does have strong themes. It's a bunch of friends talking about stories, unbridled and unwell. It's censored, but strong themes. You have been warned.
Speaker B:Hey, guys, it's Willie, the shrimp. I don't know where I am. I was just sitting there on my leaf to snack. It came down and scoot me. I was put into this fucking bag for two days, and now I'm here. And then this tank please wait. Do the glass. Set aside Joe shrimp shack. What? No. Please go to Joe Shrimp shack.com. Use promo code Aquarium Guys at checkout it's 15% off. Please order me. I'm a fire shrimp. Please, I need to get out of here. I just watched two other shrimp eat their own shit. Oh. What they're doing inside the six is chola wood is despicable. Please. Even the bamboo shrimp are eating shit. I can't do itripjack.com. I need out of here.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Aquarium Guys podcast with your host, Jim colby and Rob tolson. Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast. So today we're ready to kick off part two of the highly demanded series, even though it's not a series until today story time.
Speaker C:Story time.
Speaker A:So I'm your host, Rob Zulsen.
Speaker C:I'm Jim colby.
Speaker A:And today we have in the studio, just to make sure that we're as best behaved, we have our editor, Scrap. How are you doing? Good evening, fellas. We can't just do story time by ourselves to score around the first time it kicked off. Well, and to give you guys a little background, story time is just where we sit around a metaphorical campfire, because, again, this is a coronavirus season and we need to stay at home and tell all of our fondest stories, whether it be something chuckle worthy, something embarrassing. We try to keep it themed around the hobby, but it doesn't necessarily have to be. And today, we have a few different guests. Number one, we have, from Plymouth, Minnesota, the shrimp man himself, joe, from Joe Shrimp shack. How are you doing, buddy?
Speaker D:Pretty good. I am the man that has the chola wood by the inch.
Speaker A:Wood by the inch, baby. And then we have the Dynamic duo, I'm pretty sure the largest fish rescue in North America, the Ohio Fish Rescue, both Big Rich and Josh. How are you guys doing?
Speaker E:Hey, what's up, buddy?
Speaker F:How are you guys doing?
Speaker E:Only the largest in North America, but the largest in the world. We have checked.
Speaker A:You have checked.
Speaker F:That is correct.
Speaker E:Yes.
Speaker A:I'm going to do that for more advertisements here soon.
Speaker C:Right now, going there filling me full of crap.
Speaker A:I just thought they had to make that 100,000 gallon mark before they get that. But it's clear they beat them already. Let's kick things off. We drew some straws, and Big Rich said he's going to go first for some story time.
Speaker E:Oh, I agreed to this absolutely.
Speaker A:Hostage.
Speaker E:Okay, here's the story. You guys may remember. We went to California, and that's a long drive. It's 32 hours there, 32 hours back.
Speaker F:We're going to call this story highway high five.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker A:Oh, no.
Speaker E:Okay, I will explain that it was a long drive, and it was a long drive back, and we have to rent a truck. And our good buddy Vincent wu was going out of business, basically. And he wasn't in business selling fish or nothing, but he had a bunch of the country's greatest stock of fish and a lot of big tanks. And he called us and said he's going to be traveling for the next seven years. He wants to downsize all the stock, and he wants them to come to Ohio Fish Rescue. So we rented a truck. We drove to California, like the beverly hillbillies.
Speaker A:Wait, how does somebody just plan on traveling for seven years? Like, I'm going to go in on a hiatus to discover myself.
Speaker E:That's absolutely what I can't explain that, but I did not ask him. I did not care. I hate Vincent wu. I was a very well respected man. You want us to take your stock? I love you, brother. That's okay with me. Do what you got to do, and we will take care of it. And we rented the truck. We went to California. Now, we went there and we picked up a bunch of fish, and we made it back. It took me 72 hours total driving. I did not sleep for three days. I was up, and I made it back. We got the fish back. And then he calls me and tells me he wants me to take this tank and that tank and this storage tub and these tanks and everything else. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to rent another truck and make another trip in the same month. Two trips to California. But this time, this trip took 92 hours. I was up far beyond what any human should be up for. We do know I couldn't stop at a motel because okay, here's the deal. Let me finish with the story, and then you understand the deal.
Speaker A:All right?
Speaker E:I get there, and I planned ahead. We're going to have 12 hours of sleeping time. I cannot go through that 70 hours again. We're going to have 12 hours of sleeping time. We've got it all planned out. We have to be there at 07:00 in the morning. If I leave now, at this certain time, we can be there, and we're going to break it up a little bit to make it easier than the last trip. Well, our truck broke down. It took 12 hours to get this truck fixed, replaced, and then us back on the road. Again where we didn't have a bed. We were just waiting at some truck stop, at a truck repair place. And we get there, and now it's 07:00 in the morning where we were supposed to meet Vincent wu and take these fish and tanks and everything else he's given us. So I had no chance to sleep. So that theory went out the door. So now here I am. We get there, we work all day long, we load up everything. We got some amazing stock. I got a three foot albino red tail cat.
Speaker F:We had a platinum red tail.
Speaker E:Platinum, I'm sorry, it wasn't albino, it was platinum red tail. And then we had a three foot tarpon, Atlantic tarpon. And that was the fish we're worried about because they're real skittish, they're jumpers. We got just so many other just great fish. We had a short bodied, four foot long alligator guard. We had all kinds of crazy aspects.
Speaker F:Huge stingrays.
Speaker E:Oh, huge stingrays. Perhaps on our way back we had a problem because as we were going through New Mexico, the truck happens to be an aluminum body. The tubs are sitting on the floor, and I have a heater back there. I have a 3000 watt inverter. And I had two extension cords running from the inverter all the way around back and then taking care of everything. And we actually had a camera back there. I could see the camera up front. It was a baby monitor. And everything was going good until we hit New Mexico. And the temperatures dropped from California being 80 degrees to New Mexico being like 30 degrees. But the wind chill of us driving made the floor of the truck even colder. So we had to stop every two or three stops to do water changes. And we're begging like McDonald's, we're begging ramada inns, anybody? Can we use some water? We need a heated water source. And we're doing water changes to save the lives of these fish. All the way back, every couple of stops, it turned out 92 hours I was awake for when I got home. Now let me tell you what happened on the way home. We invented this new game, and it's called Ohio Fish Rescue Highway. High five. Okay, here's how can we do this at home? This is great, Dave. This is great. All right, I was driving, tracy was in the middle, and then Joe rockwell, our moderator from Ohio Fish Rescue, was in the passenger seat. I picked him up in Nevada and brought them back to our house. And then he was supposed to help me drive, and then we were going to fly him home. Joe drove for about 6 hours, but he's a truck driver and he was already tired from his job. So he tried driving for like, he drove for 6 hours and he was like, I can't do this, I'm sleeping, I'm falling asleep, blah, blah, blah. So next thing happens I'm driving along, and this is taking forever. And we're driving, we're driving, we're driving. Next thing you know, I start hearing God's voice. And I hear shit. You not listen. I hear he hears Morgan freeman, you got to listen. It was rich, okay? Not bitch. It was just a very nice enveloping sound, rich. And I'm like, yeah, thinking I'm talking to God. And next thing you know, I hear it again. It's a little bit louder, rich. And I'm like, yeah. And I'm thinking, I'm answering God. He's talking to me. Next thing you know, I hear tracy yell. What if I wake up? I was driving down the highway, we're doing 85 miles an hour. And I look over, because now I'm scared. And I wake up and I look over at tracy and the box trucks. They have these mirrors that are held by tubes like the size of your thumb or so this mirror on the passenger side was touching the semi truck next to us and was bending into it. I couldn't see. I woke up and I see this, and I start backing off. Well, Joe rockwell reaches out the window and writes of the truck next door. And I start pulling away. Now, we did no damage. We just bent the mirror in, okay? So now at this point, I'm like, what the hell? And Joe tells me, I told you twice, bro. I'm like, dude, that was you. I thought that was God talking to me. You said it so soft and rich. I didn't wake up until tracy screamed. You should have said something earlier. So now here we are. We're driving next to his truck. He has no idea we just touched him. And Joe wrote ofr on his truck in the dirt. So now we deem that highway high five. And I am the leading current champion right now.
Speaker A:Don't try that at home, kids.
Speaker E:Do not try this at home. No, we got more.
Speaker C:We got more.
Speaker E:So now we're driving home, and Joe couldn't drive no more. And I was definitely awake now. I just talked to God. So I'm driving home. We go through Louisiana, we go through Illinois, we go through the Michigan, we go through Indiana, and then we go to Ohio. I make it home. Now, check this out. 92 hours I've been awake. Well, sort of. I was sleeping for a little bit while driving.
Speaker C:I got a little bit of a nap there.
Speaker E:We make it home. I pull up to my driveway, and I know the whole back end is full of fish. So I'm going to back in. It's a 26 foot u haul truck. We pull up past my driveway. I pull towards my neighbor's yard, and I go to back in, and I back the truck into our driveway. I get out of my truck and completely forgot there was two extension cords going from the inverter under the hood all the way around back to the thing. And it's a big F 650, so it's like the footholds are like four foot off the ground and I'm standing on them and the two extension cords glad both my feet. And I'm falling forward now, it's 03:00 a.m. In the morning, I'm falling forward and I'm thinking to myself, oh, this ain't going to be good. I put both my arms out in front of my face because of course, that's what you do. And I'm thinking, I got this, I can handle this. I'm going to hit, I'm going to be fine. I hit the ground and my right arm completely just fails on me. And I turn and roll to the right and then tumble and all that kind of stuff. And I go to get up and I cannot move my right arm. Someone needs to help me. And Josh has come running around from the passenger side and he helps me up. My right arm is useless. I could not move it. I went to the hospital. Josh did all the fish transfers and all that. I went straight to the hospital. I had ripped all seven tendons off of my right rotator cuff or shoulder and they retracted my bicep muscle retracted down. It was down by where your elbow is and it was a big lump. There the biggest muscle on your back. The tenant that ripped off of my shoulder and the doctor found all these tenants and pulled them back up and reattached them. So now I had to go through 30 days of immobilization. I could not move my arm. They did not want me moving and ripping the stitches. And then I had to go through three months of therapy, if I can say the word bands and you have a cringe, you've known what I've gone through. These things are just inhuman to people. I had to do this physical therapy where this little girl is like, just do this, and she's doing it like so simply, and I couldn't do it. I'm a big man, £350, I can't do what you do with this sucks.
Speaker A:I'm just going to watch every truck for an of our logo from now on a day. Get truck passing me on the highway, I'm going to look for it.
Speaker E:Right, don't try this highway. High five.
Speaker A:If you can do it on a train, brownie points, do it on a train.
Speaker C:There you go.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker C:I don't think God was talking to you. I think God was driving for you.
Speaker E:God was definitely driving that day because I was in a state of euphoria the first time I slept. And I think it was probably at that point about 70 hours. And I'm sleeping at the wheel and just why would you be in the pasture seat and just go, rich? You know what I'm saying? I would be like, oh, my God, rich. I'd be freaking out. The driver's sleeping.
Speaker A:We know that Joe rockwell sounds like God to you?
Speaker C:We'll be sure to tell him that.
Speaker E:He sounded like God. It was a warm, comforting voice. Rich I'm like, yeah, I want that as a ring to it.
Speaker A:Rich, after 72 hours of sleep, your body actually goes into paranoia and a potential zone like schizophrenia. So go you for 92 hours, sir.
Speaker E:Dude, it was crazy. But I had to save the fish, and that's what we're here to do.
Speaker A:You're going to do that through thick, thin and no sleep. All right, so who is next on our list of storytime shenanigans?
Speaker E:Joe Shrimp shack, you tell us your story, brother.
Speaker D:Wood, by the inch. All right, well, it was back in 2017. I was only nine months in this hobby. I went to my first show was The aquatic Experience. And kind I didn't know anybody else that was out there. I went with one of my friends, Jeff lidberg. And we went out there and I kind of really became really good friends with Chris luca, also known as the Shrimp King. Well, we're sitting there chumming around, making jokes, popping jokes all day long. And he says, hey, Joe, do you want to go over and run the camera while I do a live stream? I'm like, sure, I can do that. Not a problem. So he gets on there and he starts talking, and he sees another big youtuber, and he says, hey, come over here for a second. I want to ask you a couple of questions. And this person who's going to be anonymous right now, came over. Keep in mind that this person person is very religious as well. Chris goes up to him. He says, hey, how's it going? And he says, oh, it's going fine, it's going fine. He goes, I got a personal question to ask you. He goes, yeah, go ahead. Well, please keep in mind, guys, that we're doing a live feed. So he has followers watching. He goes, when was the last time you gave your wife an orgasm?
Speaker E:Oh, my God.
Speaker D:He turned Beat Red and was like, dumbfounded. I'm sitting there like, oh, gosh. And he goes, oh, it was this last week. overheard this and says, it wasn't even that good. So we were just going over and chubbing it up. And of course, this person is beat red out of the blue. I see everybody called her my shrimp wife. It was a new girl that I was starting to see. She comes running down from the hotel room and she says, pissed. And I said, what's wrong? She goes, I cannot believe that you guys just literally did that. I'm like, did what? You asked if this guy gave his wife an orgasm. And I said, I never did. This was Chris. I'm just a cameraman. She's like, you guys are making a big joke out of this. And I'm like, well, it's kind of what we do. We kind of have fun and the whole weekend. I meant I became friends with everybody out there. And at that moment, I was just like, you know what, this is what I want to do with my life. Just keep on doing this aquatics.
Speaker A:See, you learn a couple of things there. Number one, you learn the background of a real fish tuber and the fun you get to have in the background. And two, you know that if you have anything to do with shrimp, everyone wants to see your six inch cholo wood.
Speaker D:That's right.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:Smooth.
Speaker D:And if you're lucky, if you put it in the water and it swells up, might be eight inches.
Speaker A:You never know, dude.
Speaker E:And that's all any girl asks for. It's just a couple of inches more.
Speaker A:So if you want your own six to eight inch cholo would go to Joe Shroomtrack.com promo code. Aquarium guys.
Speaker E:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker A:All right, I'm going to take the next one. I've always wanted to keep expanding, try new things. I pride myself in dabbing in every type of fish that I get to see online at least once. That's my goal and my fish hobby, to eventually try everything I can at least try to get my hands on that's legal.
Speaker C:Like luda fisk.
Speaker A:Like luda fisk.
Speaker C:Tried that.
Speaker A:That's a Minnesota staple for those that don't know about luda fisk.
Speaker C:Right? It's disgusting.
Speaker A:Disgusting. Luda fisk is a Norwegian tradition that they soak white fish in lie. Lie, like the soap in Minnesota. It's more popular than it ever will be in Norway because it was done for poor and hard times. Minnesota celebrates it by doing these giant fish feeds. Thank you for that random tangent there, Jimmy. Yeah, it's gross.
Speaker C:Google it.
Speaker A:But no, my story is I was thinking about do I want to get into turtles?
Speaker C:That just sounds me and my wife.
Speaker A:Saw a couple of people with some red slider turtles, some painted turtles, and we're like, you know, turtles could seem fun. We can have them outdoors. We can make a pond for them in our backyard. It seems like a nice hearty addition and just matches the aquarium hobby, right? Get maybe a tank for the winter, leave them out in the summer, have some fun. So during this time when me and my wife are deciding we want to do turtles, we decide to go to one of our local rivers and go tubing, which is a Minnesota tradition. You grab tire inner tubes and you float down the river for about three 4 hours not doing a damn thing except being lazy and listening to Jack Johnson music and maybe sip a beer.
Speaker E:And peeing in the river.
Speaker A:Damn right. You don't get out to pee. It's right there. It flows along with you. It's part of the experience and smell.
Speaker C:That's why I always go last.
Speaker A:Some of us also call it a brewing. I just thought that so you could take off your pants no, I could.
Speaker E:Be here with you.
Speaker C:I like to go last because I like to spread the love downstream.
Speaker A:Oh, that's genius.
Speaker E:No, it's warmer in the last place.
Speaker C:And saltier.
Speaker A:So again, essentially, park a vehicle at one end, park another vehicle at the other, and you tube through it. It's a real fun thing. It's real cheap to do because you can bring your own tubes. And there's also tubing establishments throughout Minnesota. You can look up. It's one of my favorite all time hobbies because I get to be fat and lazy. So me and my wife are going tubing. And it was a nice goals in life. Oh, yeah. Nice summer day, floating down the river. And there wasn't that many people. But we're getting towards the end and me and my wife, we're about 20 minutes away from the exit. We come up because we're just us too. So we're not touching bottom. We're not mosing around. We're just floating. Whereas some other groups, they'll drag bottom. They'll go slower. So we're approaching this big family. And this big family is called completely shit faced. There's I don't know one person that wasn't slurring taking their tops off, just completely trash. And they have a kid with them. The kid is about 1012 years old, kind of like that, just before pubescent stage. And he was just dragged along. And that was just part of the family. There was no sober adult there with him. So he felt bad for the kid. You could tell he was bored. And we're trying to float past them. There's not a real way to speed up when you get on the river, unless you want to just get out and paddle like Michael phelps. And let me tell you, I'm a big man. It ain't going to happen for me. So we're just floating by him and we see the kid. He's bored in the corner. He found himself a painted turtle. I'm like, oh, look. And I literally point to my wife like, that's the turtle that we should be getting. Oh, that's so beautiful. And the kid grabs the turtle and holds it and tries to, like air hump it while he's floating on the tube and says, hey guys, look what I'm doing. They all turn around. Look at the kid pretending to face the turtle. Face turtle.
Speaker C:You didn't say face as many times.
Speaker A:As our editor is going to bleep this out for everyone, he's fucking kill you. He is.
Speaker E:Don't say Facebook.
Speaker C:Listen, you midget loving motherfucker.
Speaker D:I hear a lot of ducks happening.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah. Back to the story. So this kid is sitting there doing.
Speaker D:This with a turtle.
Speaker A:And as they're all drunk and they're stupid pointing and laughing like, oh, he's.
Speaker C:Going to fuck turtle.
Speaker A:His shorts split open. He's wearing swimming trunks. His penis is dangling there. And the turtle reaches out and clamps down on the head of his dick.
Speaker E:No.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I'm like, oh, shit. Everybody else, what's going on? And the kid does the whole thing where he grabs turtle, he begins to yell like that and then pulls the turtle away from his body thinking that's going to let go. Instead it's just doing some like horrible rubber band action. This kid is full on adding x ray inches to his manmade and just heave hoeing that turtle. And all the parents, I'm assuming some are parents in that group. And there's not a single adult that wasn't laughing. I'm sitting there panicking and the kids going and I'm trying to paddle over to him to see if I could help maybe get off the beach, call 911. I had my cell phone in a ziploc bag.
Speaker C:You have the Turtle cpr.
Speaker A:I'm like, oh, my God. Because everybody is drunk and they're not going to help a kid if his dick gets bit off. So the kid just keeps yelling and he's just rubber banding his dick. I'm like, no, don't. And you assume that there's going to be tearing, sound effects, something. But then the turtle finally lets go after like the 14th rubber band effect and he just tosses the turtle. Turtle still swims away. He's fine. And the kid, you know, he's just sitting there just like trying to start fire in his crotch, like putting a stick together and rubbing it back and forth. And I feel bad. We just get to the stop, we go up to the top. And finally one person that was half sober does call the authority kiss and make it better. They got to the beach before I could do it either. I did not have anything to do with anything. They took care of it before I did. But after that moment, me and my wife made a pack that we are never going to have a turtle unless it's a rescue. We don't want rubber band effects with a turtle anytime soon. I don't know who needed rescue story.
Speaker C:I'm not sure either.
Speaker A:So if you ever know why I don't have turtles, Jimmy, that is why I'm forever petrified by you.
Speaker E:Once saw a turtle almost bite the dick off somebody.
Speaker A:Yeah, that is what happened. I'm traumatized and I can't have a turtle now.
Speaker C:That hurt just thinking about it.
Speaker A:You're welcome.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I'm sorry, editor, for it was.
Speaker E:The stretching effect in the visual I was getting.
Speaker A:It reminded me of that dumb and dumber scene where the guy stuck his tongue to that hole and goes, not a good visual.
Speaker F:That makes my whole getting bit by a fish story makes me sound like a pussy.
Speaker A:We still got to get that tattoo. Damn it.
Speaker F:But speaking of that, I did get bit by another fish recently.
Speaker A:Hit me. Tell us all about it.
Speaker F:We were actually cleaning out the 4400 gallon. We were cleaning the front window and whatnot and I'm in there.
Speaker E:What he means by we is he's in there.
Speaker C:Cleaning it, and you're drinking beer watching?
Speaker E:Yeah, right.
Speaker F:So I don't know if you guys seen the video or not, but we had one of the perune sharks eat another fish inside the tank. So while I was in there, we're trying to catch this perune shark out. So I got my big four foot net in there, and I end up trapping this perune shark against the top of the tank.
Speaker E:Let me explain this to people. perune sharks look just like iridescent sharks. Iridescent sharks get up to 36 inches. They sell them at petsmart for like $4, and they're two inches. They get to 36 inches. But perune sharks are their big brother. They're big meaner brother. Iridescent sharks are like omnivores. They basically eat the fish food. But the peroon sharks are, let's say, for lack of better terms, meat of horse. They eat meat and they go after anything that moves. They're like large amount bass. They're so just insane. They look like an iridescent shark, but their top fin has an elongated extra finish on it, and so does their bottom fins. And their perune sharks, they do go after anything that moves, and they do bite. And we had a 24 inch perun shark eat an 18 inch leperaneous. You would never think that this would fit in this perune shark's mouth, but he ate it. So we were moving them. The purpose of this was we're a rescue. We don't want our fish eating each other. We don't try and promote that or none of that. This is just an accident that happened. So we're in there trying to catch these fish out of there and put them over to the pool pond where there's no small fish in there. So Josh, I say by small, nothing under 24 inches, okay? The prune shark cannot fit in his mouth. He'll have to eat our tilapia we give him instead of devouring our fish, right? So then go ahead, Josh.
Speaker F:So I'm in this tank, and I got my four foot net, and I trap him against the back wall of this aquarium. Now I'm like, well, shit, I got to take this net and bring it up to the top of the tank somehow without him getting out of the net, because they are lightning fast and they are pretty strong. So my thought is, let me just go ahead and reach around the net. Now grab the fish through the net, and then I'll go ahead and I'll move the net up to the top to where he can't get out. As I PROCEED to do this, I grabbed the net, and this fish basically lets out a big giant screw you. And he latches onto my thumb. Now, he's not just biting my thumb. Imagine sticking your thumb down this fish's throat. And he bites me. And then he said, that's not enough. And he goes ahead and he swallows my thumb more. So now there's like partial of. My palm inside this mouth, and I'm sitting here still inside the net. So I hurry up, and I get him to the top of the tank, and then he proceeds to let go of my mouth. He's screaming underwater and puke up everything that was inside of his stomach. Now, to this day, he peels no, the fish puke. But if you know, when fish puke, they release this acid that's inside their stomach, and it's bad for the aquarium.
Speaker C:So what we learn is you taste like shit.
Speaker E:Smell my thumb. He's going to puke.
Speaker C:Thumbs down.
Speaker A:Smell my thumb.
Speaker E:Although thumbs was down his throat for sure. We've got pictures where it bit and it took his whole thumb. If you take your fingers and you go down your thumb to where your hand starts, there was a bite mark there, and then there was about a bite mark about an inch in farther almost to your wrist where the fish lashed on and wanted to swallow that thumb.
Speaker C:I don't have anything even half as much fun as this, but you've asked me, Rob, a couple of times to tell the story and how I got my nickname down in Florida.
Speaker A:Please. I begged you to tell this story. You have refused up until now to even have a mention. It's funny. I want to just give a little preface to this so people understand how epic this is between you and me. I go down with this man to Florida, and he's like, showing me all the fish farms, going to seagers Farms, and everybody we see I've never met these people in my life. And what do they call you?
Speaker C:Jimmy naked man.
Speaker A:And everybody giggles like they stole money from a child. Every single person. We're talking young, old, hey, Naked Man, I haven't seen you in a couple of years. And just it's really creepy, naked man. And they look at me like, oh, he hasn't told you. He'll never tell you. So please share to the class the story you've been keeping from everyone for so long.
Speaker C:I actually looked up the year before I tell the story and stuff, because there's a couple of stories that I got for this program. Both happened at the same trip down in Florida. I've been down there probably 1517 times. I was down there with my buddy Mark sparby, who owned a pet store at the time. And we went down, and we visited several of the fish farms, and we went out with our friends from seagris Farms, and they said, hey, let's take you guys out for dinner tonight. And we're going, Hell, yeah. They said, what do you guys want? And they said, well, there's a new barbecue place that's got a nice open area where we can all sit outside and eat, and it's a beautiful day. So we went over to this barbecue place, which I kind of it's kind of like a famous dave's, but it had a nice big outdoor patio, and they were grilling a barbecue out there, right out in the thing. And we all proceeded to start drinking a little bit.
Speaker A:A little bit.
Speaker C:We were sloshed.
Speaker A:That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker C:Here we go. We were out there, but right next to this big fountain, one thing led to another, and somebody said, I'd give somebody $500 if they jump in that naked. Somebody said somebody said, all right, if you know the voice, you'll know who it was. And so we had a couple more drinks, and then it was said again, I'd give somebody $500 to see him jump in there naked. Mark and I were about ready to go, and we actually were staying down the road about six blocks, but we had driven because we're fat and lazy. And so I told Mark, I said, you might want to start the car up. He goes, Why? He says, I'm going to go jump in there. So I went into the bathroom and got totally naked, except for my tennis shoes came through the restaurant.
Speaker E:Boogie dad, boogie dad, boogie dad.
Speaker C:And I want to say it was really cold out, because that's what everybody stopped. That's what everybody pointed out to me. It was really cold out, wasn't it, Jim? Hang on. No.
Speaker A:Are you saying you didn't have a turtle to stretch the moon?
Speaker C:No, I didn't have a turtle to stretch the mood. And here's the best part. So I come out of there, I'm blasted. I'm going just screaming at the top of my lungs. I come out, I have all my clothes tucked underneath my arm, and I jump in this little area with the fountain. I do a little dance, and then somebody says, belly flop. Belly flop. So I belly flopped in from the edge twice. And then Mark comes pulling up with the car. I dive in through the door, through the window. He had the window down. He's straight up.
Speaker A:Dukes of hazardous.
Speaker C:Dukes of hazardous, with my butt cheeks sticking out. And we take off at about mach seven. And of course, where do I have my pp? It's right on top of the door lock. And as we're going down the road, you know the whole door lock, the automatic door lock, how it goes down. Yeah, it hurts.
Speaker A:And for then on, they always call you the right angle.
Speaker C:That's right. Here's the best part. Nobody really freaking noticed. I mean, there's like 15 people out yeah, there's like 15 people out there. And the only people that really noticed was our table because they were waiting for it. Everybody else was kind of like, what the hell just happened?
Speaker A:Boogie dad.
Speaker C:Boogie.
Speaker E:Oh, my God.
Speaker C:So now I'm referred to as Naked man everywhere.
Speaker A:Everywhere in Florida. It's incredible. If you have anything to do with fish at all, you're naked man.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker F:Have you been doing?
Speaker E:Imperial tropicals.
Speaker C:No, not been there.
Speaker E:That's southern Florida.
Speaker C:Yeah, this is in the Tampa area. Now. When I still call this particular place, they say, ask who's calling? I say, Tell my snaked man. And it's kind of like Bob newhart. They have a new secretary every two weeks. And she goes, I've heard about you.
Speaker A:I've once called the suggested place, and it's like, who are you? We don't know you. I'm like, I'm with Naked Man. Literally got me through to the supervisor immediately.
Speaker C:That's all I had. As we go down the street with my I have faced down in the car seat, and of course, Mark thinks it's pretty funny. So he's weaving back and forth across the road, and then I can't really get in the car. My ass is hanging out. And we pull up to the hotel and he's laughing so hard. I'm laughing so hard. So we finally get out and there's a guy out there adjusting like the sprinklers at 09:00 at night. And he looks at us and just goes, having a good time? I go, yeah, we're good. And he just went back in. Like, it just happens all the time.
Speaker E:Awesome.
Speaker C:I got my nickname down in Florida.
Speaker A:I can just imagine the entire scene. The whole car glowing because we're from Minnesota. And you're asked literally never see sun.
Speaker C:I've never seen sun once.
Speaker A:No, other than that. That was at night time, though.
Speaker F:Yeah.
Speaker E:So you're like almost from Canada, the great white ass.
Speaker A:Oh, completely.
Speaker C:We are so close to Canada, I can smell it.
Speaker A:We literally have poutine down the street.
Speaker C:It smells like poutine.
Speaker A:All right, so I think we made one full round. And for those that are listening, you should have at least completed one full beer. If you haven't that's on you.
Speaker E:You guys should be drinking every time we say, what's the key word tonight, Rob?
Speaker A:See on your live streams. You guys got keywood. So I'm going with either cholo wood or my hand can't work.
Speaker E:Oh, my God. All right, Rich, for you guys to drink. Here it is. Consume. Now, I got one more to tell you. I was getting into this whole thing, and I had a bunch of tanks, and we were building this up, and I found out that my buddy was in New York from H Two Aquatics, and they were closing down. So we bought all of his stingrays from him, which I eventually sold and bought this house here and started to rescue with. But we bought the stingrays so that we could start mass producing babies. His stingrays were all like 30 inches black diamonds. Beautiful. It was mike was his name. And H two aquatics. So anyways, he tells me he's closing down and I'm like, you know what? I need your filtration system. Because all of our tanks at that point, we had all of our tanks, we were on separate filtration and we were doing water changes. And I was just like, this is too much. I need your main filtration system. So I drove to New York. It was not the Canadian Falls in New York. It was nine and a half hours away. It was the Long Island, New York. So I drove there, and I told Josh, I'm like, you know what? You're a good kid. Have fun party this weekend and butt your friends over. Have a party. I don't mind. I'm going to go with your mom, and we're going to New York, and I'm going to pick up all this filtration and make our lives easier. So I drive nine and a half hours there, and I don't know if you've ever been through PA, but these people drive. I'm doing 95 miles an hour, and I'm being just passed by trucks, just cars, trucks. It's just crazy. They were doing like, 110, 120. It just seemed like this is the norm. I was flabbergasted. But I get to New York and I pay all these tolls on all these bridges. It was crazy. I get to mike's shop now, H two aquatics was closing down. I'm there to buy the filtration. I walk in and I see a 4400 gallon tank. I'm like, this ain't for sale, is it? And I'm like, yeah. I immediately put in a first bid, and I thought, there's no way I'm going to get it, blah, blah, blah. And I bid on it, and I'm like, this thing is beautiful. It's seven foot from front to back. It's 14 foot long, six foot tall, one big piece of glass on a fiberglass reinforced plastic body. I was like, this is just the biggest, the best fish tank I've ever seen. And he explained to me the whole story, how the customer had bought this and had it installed in this house, and it cost $168,000. And they did the filtration. There was protein skimmers, there was big pumps. There was a huge sump. It was all salt water. It was beautiful. I go on, and then I end up getting this tank. So at this point now, I call my son, I'm like, hey, Josh. Hi, buddy. Remember that party I told you go ahead and have because I trust you and you're a good kid? No, screw that rental. Rent a pickup truck and a car trailer and drive to New York right now. So me and tracy, we slept in the car in the parking lot and waited for Josh to show up. And poor Josh, he changed all his plans and told his friends, he can't come over and all that stuff, and he drove straight through. At that point, it was the middle of winter. They had to take a bobcat and load this 4400 gallon tank onto the car trailer. I brought a pickup truck in a car trailer, and Josh brought another pickup truck in a car trailer, because the stand was the same, 14 foot by seven foot. It was only 36 inches tall. But it was £3500, and the tank was, like, £4500. So what we did was, we took the tank, and I went to home depot, and I bought one inch acrylic, and I covered the whole window. But I was thinking the styrofoam in the wind chill and all that, it'll shake, it'll shimmy, and it will scratch the acrylic. I covered the acrylic with drawer liner, clear, plastic drawer liner. You can get it at home.
Speaker F:Contact paper.
Speaker E:Thank you. I covered the whole window with that. And then I put an inch of styrofoam on there, and we duct tape that together. And then I went around the whole tank with shrink wrap. We put a heater inside, hooked up to our inverter, and we put a camera inside, hooked up to our baby monitor in the car. Here's the reason. I got a hold of the company waterdog products that made the tank. And they said, if that tank gets cold, 14 foot window will shrink at least almost a half inch, and it will pop the seams. So we had to keep the whole tank warm. So I had the heater in it, I had the camera in it, and I'm driving home. everything's fine. We get through Pennsylvania again. Now, mind you, Pennsylvania is the appalachian mountains. It takes you like, I don't know, 34 miles of going uphill, and then you've got probably 15 miles of downhill.
Speaker A:It's no joke.
Speaker E:Oh, it's no joke. And there's no street lights. There's no street lights. I'm I'm flying, and I'm looking at this blizzard that we're driving through. It was horrible. It was snow everywhere. And I'm driving, and I'm doing like, I think it was 27 miles an hour, and I can only see, like, 6ft out in front of me. And then out of nowhere, a semi just blast past me doing, like, 70. They have lights. They have traction. I was scared to death. So now here we go. I've got my son behind me, josh driving the car, or the pickup truck behind me with the trailer, and then all the extras that we bought inside the stand and all that. I'm driving up front with this big 4500 pound, 4400 gallon tank, and I'm going down a hill in Pennsylvania. There's no street lights, and I start hitting the brakes and the trailer oh, my God, dude. scariest feeling ever. I'm trying to slow us down, but the trailer is pushing us, and we're speeding up, and I'm trying to slow down, but I'm sliding. This was just horrible. This was crazy. Next thing I know, I'm going down this hill, and the trailer is almost beside me, jackknife completely. I can look out my driver's window and see the fish tank on the trailer beside me. We're sliding all the way down this hill, and it was like a two mile hill. I'm like, oh, my God. I'm trying to let off the brake. Hit the brake, let off the brake. Hit the brake and get traction of some sort. My son calls me from behind, and I'm like, I know it's okay. I'm trying.
Speaker F:I thought that bank was a gunner.
Speaker C:You answered the damn phone.
Speaker E:My God, you don't even understand, because once we hit the bottom, there was no snow. It stopped snowing, and all of a sudden we hit dry pavement. This tank jerked behind me and went the other way and went up on two wheels of our car trailer. This tank was only on its right side, and I thought it was done. I thought it was gone. It rode that for a while, and I turned towards the right, and it finally came down, but then it went up on its left side, and I'm like and I'm turning towards the left side. This 4400 gallon tank should not be here today. That's all I'm saying. Now, mind you, I had been driving and forever. I was hallucinating in the snowstorm. I'm seeing things that just weren't there, and I'm actually ducking while I'm driving. It was crazy. And we got it home, and it sat outside of our house in Cleveland for two years, hooked up to an extension cord with the heater in it, that same surrounding on it, and a big tarp over it because I had no place to put it. I was not prepared to buy that. I did not look to buy that. I did not try to buy that. But when the presentation arrived, I had to buy that, you know what I'm saying? And I brought it home, and it sat up there for two years until I bought this house out here in strongsville, and I built on an addition here for my fish room. And that was the first time we got this 4400 gallon tanks up, and it has not failed to this day. It is a good tank.
Speaker A:How many tank?
Speaker E:It's amazing. 14 foot long of glass, six foot tall, and seven foot from front to rear, and it's two and a half inches thick, acrylic. And oh, my God, it's an amazing tank. So the moral sorry.
Speaker A:The moral of the story is that when you have some sleep, you're basically Fast and the Furious with the trailer.
Speaker E:Basically, my trailer was what do you want to call? drifting beside me?
Speaker A:No, I'm just trying to think. Like I can't drive. 55 is playing in the background while this is all happening.
Speaker E:Oh, I want to slap Sammy hangar that night.
Speaker A:Hang on, Sammy. Hang on for life.
Speaker D:Since we're speaking about, like, musician stuff, I have a good story about meeting a musician that nobody else really knew. This is aquatic experience. This last year, we were out in New Jersey, so I'm going to kind of fill you in. What happened? I flew out there early with manny from jbj. He wanted to tour me around New York. So I'd never seen downtown New York, and the one place I wanted to go to was the eminem store. So I went to the eminem store, bought a bunch of eminem, went back. We started setting up our booth there for the International shrimp Contest.
Speaker A:Got diabetes.
Speaker D:Got diabetes. Now, we were going to meet downstairs with gabby from Denver, and they were down there. I went to go shower and stuff. I came back down, brought the eminem's down, sit down next to manny. I look over my left shoulder, and I'm like, no, that can't be. And I just kept on looking, and everybody's just, like, having a normal conversation. I finally took my phone, snapped a picture, and looked at it in long and behold, it was Jeff Hannah. Now, if you guys don't know who Jeff Hannah is, it's with the nitty gritty Dirt band. And if you still don't know who that is, I'm sure that we can keep up a little queue of some of the music.
Speaker C:Perfect.
Speaker D:So we sat there, and I'm just looking at them, and all of a sudden, I look over, and Jimmy Fadon's there, too, and Jamie faden.
Speaker E:Okay. Okay. I said page. I was like, no way.
Speaker D:No. So then I sat there, and after five minutes and said, hey, do you guys mind if I take a picture with you guys? And they're like, oh, yeah. Keep in mind, they're just eating burgers and drinking beer. Perfect. Not a problem. Took a picture with them. And then mandy looks over, and he says, hey, you want to go have a cigarette? I'm like, sure. Not a problem. So I go out there with mandy, and gabby goes out there, and they said, oh, how do you know that guy? I'm like, you don't know who that is? They're like? No. Who? And I said, it's the nitty gritty Dirt Band. And they're like, who? Are you serious? It's your era of music. And I'm the youngest one in the group, and I know exactly who this is. So I'm sitting out there playing some YouTube music from them. They're like, oh, yeah, I know the song. So we're outside. I come back in, and long and behold, they're eating all my M and M. bastards. And keep in mind, in New York, those eminem, that was the expensive bag. You know, they sat there, and they ate my M and Ms. So what happened to them is they end up getting a flat tire on their tour bus, so they stayed at that hotel there. So that was my reading of someone famous that nobody else in that whole hotel knew.
Speaker C:I knew who it was right away when you said it. The nitty gritty Dirt Band plays in our area about twice a year at our castle. They're kind of like the house band. And for those of you who don't know who they're talking about, if you heard the song Fishing in the Dark, that's the nitty gritty Dirt Band.
Speaker D:Mr. bojangles.
Speaker C:There you go.
Speaker D:They were just in Ohio, too, in January.
Speaker C:Yes. They still are traveling nonstop and still touring. I had something similar that same trip. It reminded me when he told us the story about the gritty Dirt band. Mark and I were going to go have a steak in Orlando that day. No, it wasn't Orlando. It was tamp. I'm sorry. So we were going to have a steak, and we went to this steak place that was famous for a big steak at a cheap price. And we get there and they're telling us it's going to be a two hour wait. We end up sitting in the bar visiting with some people next door, and Mark had his Minnesota Twins polo shirt on because we watched a game during spring training that day. And then we'd come back to Tampa as we're sitting in the steak house and they're telling us it's going to be a two hour wait, we're visiting this guy next to us who to me looked kind of like stefano from Days of Our Lives. For those of you who watched Days of Our Lives years and years ago, kind of a big deal.
Speaker E:We watched Days of Our Lives. Really?
Speaker A:Yeah, when I was in college, all my children person.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker E:Wow. My God.
Speaker C:So we're talking to this guy, and he says to us, he goes, what are you guys waiting for, food? And we said, yeah. And he says, well, he said he goes, I'm the general manager of a steak place down the street. He goes, I can get you in right away. And we said, oh, why are you here? He says, Well, I don't like to drink where I work and stuff. He said, I'm meeting some friends here. And he said, I can call over to get you in right away because we usually have a weight too. And we said, well, yeah, go ahead. So he calls over there, and you have to remember, this is back in 1999, and his phone is about the size of a shoe box. And he calls over there and gives us directions. And lo and behold, he sent us over to Shoelas. And for those who aren't familiar with schulz, it's Don shula from the Miami Dolphins, who used to be a coach. He has a steak place, which was.
Speaker E:Also the Cleveland Browns coach.
Speaker C:Yes. So we go over to shula's, and immediately as we walk in, we're thinking that old parody from sesame Street where three of these things belong together, which one doesn't? And it was us. We walk in with T shirts and shorts, and everybody there is wearing ties and skirts, and there's a piano bar out front, and people are drinking cognac. And we get there, walk up to the gal, and she says, oh, are you the guys from Minnesota? And we said yes. How did you figure? And she goes, oh, the boss called and described you, and I'm thinking, yeah, I'm sure. And she goes, can I ask you, where did you run into him? We said, oh, down to the other steak place down the street. She goes, I knew it. He goes over there and drinking because he doesn't want to drink here because it's too expensive. So they took us in, sat us down. This all happened in the course of an hour. We sit down, they bring the menu is written on a football, and they light the whole restaurant with one candle. I'm pretty sure we can't hardly read the menu on this football suite. We told the waiter, said, we just want a steak and a potato type of thing. And he goes, do you guys want to share a potato? We go, Why would you want to share a potato? Well, they're pretty big. And we said no. So he brought us a steak, which was $42. Was it a steak? Everything else was all a cart. The potato was 795. The asparagus was 795. Starting to get to be an expensive night. And they gave us one of the best seats in the house, which is right next to the bathroom, because when you're from Minnesota and you're in Florida and you're dressed like a bum, you get to sit by the bathroom. We were there for five minutes, and lo and behold, this beautiful woman walks by. And Mark goes, did you see her? I went, no. He goes, I think it's whitney Houston. And I went no way. So she comes out of the bathroom, and sure as heck, it's whitney Houston. This is 1999, and she has got powdered donut under her nose. She was in I'm not kidding yet.
Speaker E:She was it powdered donut.
Speaker A:Is she a crispy, cream connoisseur?
Speaker C:Yeah, she was in the bathroom consuming powdered donuts.
Speaker E:Okay.
Speaker C:And on her beautiful dark skin, you could see this under her nose as she comes out.
Speaker A:Are you sure it wasn't the got milk mustache? It was the 90s, right?
Speaker C:No, it's 1999. And I can tell you why I looked it up today before I came over. So she goes in and out of the bathroom, not once, but 15 times. Meanwhile, you looked over there, and there's Bobby Brown, and they've got this little girl with them who at that time was six years old. It was christina, their daughter. And so she's in the bathroom getting jacked up every five minutes, back and forth. And we said to our waiter, who was a young guy, who said, is she in there doing what we think she's doing? And he goes, oh, yeah, she gets kicked out of here to do that all the time.
Speaker E:Because the bars don't appreciate you doing donuts when you should buy their food.
Speaker C:Right, exactly. Don't eat donuts in the bathroom.
Speaker D:That's right.
Speaker C:And so now we've had a couple of beers, and what I mean by a couple, I mean seven. And Mark says to me, I'll give you $100 if you go over and ask her for an autograph. He goes, and if we're lucky, Bobby Brown will punch you in the face, and we can sue him and get this whole trip paid for. I'm thinking that's pretty much possible because that's a hell of a prerogative. Let's put some bobby bro right here.
Speaker E:That was good.
Speaker C:We sit there and watch us unfold. Then she leaves, and we thought, oh, that's all the excitement for the night. And Mark gets up to go use the bathroom, and now they're cleaning the bathrooms that we're sitting next to. So they they direct him to the back of the to the back of the restaurant. And Mark comes back, and he goes, you won't believe who's back there in the back room. And I go, who. He goes, at least 20, maybe 22 different players from Major League Baseball. He goes, there's everybody back there. And I'm not a big baseball fan. I don't know the names, but here's where I remember that was there was Sammy sosa, okay? It was the year before I think it was 98, that he had the big home run chase with Mark mcguire. And they were at that time, slugging it back and forth, trying to see who could beat Roger Merris's home run record. And for those of you who don't know who Roger meris is, in the 60s, he worked he played for who, the mets, was it? Or in New York? And anyway, Roger merris is from fargo, North Dakota. So in our hometown, 60 miles to the west of us, we have a Roger merits Museum right in our westacre shopping mall with all the different baseball bats and stuff that he used during his home run. And so Mark says to me, he goes, they gave me a bunch of crap.
Speaker E:I said, what do you mean the.
Speaker C:The poor baseball players gave you a bunch of crap? Because I'm wearing my Minnesota Twins jersey or his polo shirt. And when he walked by the table to go back to the bathroom, sammy sosa said, oh, you still got to team up there. We didn't know. And they all laughed and stuff. So Mark says, I'm going to buy these guys a beer. And I says, dude, you're on your own if you're buying 22 beers at Shoula's. I mean, our food bill is already almost $300. He goes, this once in a lifetime, I'm going to do it. I said, okay, you go ahead. And so he sends them a beer back there, and you see them go by. And of course, they're not drinking michelob or Old Milwaukee or anything. They're all drinking this exotic beers.
Speaker A:Stella atwa.
Speaker C:Yeah, exactly. So we get the thing, and it was almost $400 for beer. And Mark says, I'm just going to put it on the credit card and explain it to my wife later. And so he calls for our check, and.
Speaker E:Stuff.
Speaker C:And we heard as they went back, they heard all these guys going, yay, free beer and stuff. And our waiter came, and Mark flips out the credit card, and he's paying our bar bill, which is damn near eight, $900 without tip. I tipped $100 because I had told him I was tip. And we're sitting there.
Speaker A:I mean, the naked man has a reputation.
Speaker C:Got to help hold it in Florida. So we're getting ready to leave, and lo and behold, the waiter says, you guys just got to wait around just a second. And we said, Why? He goes, Just hold on. And those 22 baseball players each bought us a beer back. So they came with 44 freaking open beers for us. They had oh, shit, they had five trays full. And these things are all cracked open. And we're sitting there. I can't see mark's a big man. He bought his biggest, big, rich I can't see the top of his head across the table for me because we got all these beers in front of us. And Mark said to me, Holy crap, I guess we're going to have to call a taxi because there was no Uber back in that day. So as we are sitting there drinking our beer, laughing about it, then all these players came walking out and came over to our table and started laughing at us. They said, Drink up, people. And Mark said to them, well, do you guys want to help us?
Speaker D:And they said, sure.
Speaker C:Bring it out to the what do you want to call it? The cigar bar, I think is what they had called it. They had a piano out there. So the waiter took out all these beers out there, and they're gone in probably 20 minutes. And we all heard them talk about how crappy the beer was that we were drinking.
Speaker A:You don't remember the rest?
Speaker C:I do remember the rest, because we had to leave our car there, and we got to ride on the Major League Baseball bus that they provide these guys with a bus so they don't drink and drive. And they gave us a ride back to our hotel. And I never forget sammy sosa as we walked off the bus, he goes, See us, suck us. And we got off the bus. It was an expensive night, but yeah, we got to see a lot of cool people.
Speaker A:I've never been more hungry for donuts.
Speaker C:Yeah, there was a lot of donuts in the bathroom. I think they had a special in there. But yeah, you could see it on her beautiful skin.
Speaker A:It was a Lisa baker's dozen.
Speaker C:Yeah, right up the nose donuts.
Speaker A:All right, so I think I better wrap this back into fish stories.
Speaker F:I've got one for you. You first, then we no longer like titanium eaters here, so I hope you guys are ready to go a little bit.
Speaker E:This is so funny.
Speaker F:We're sitting here at the rescue, and we're trying to find a heater for a new tank that we're setting up. And I'm going through, and I'm testing heaters, glass heaters, titanium.
Speaker E:I'm plugging them in, and he's holding on to them to see if they get warmed. Who's licking them?
Speaker A:That's what I want to know.
Speaker F:As my dad said, I'm sitting here testing out heaters one after one. Okay, this one works. This one end, not so much. This one's garbage. We get to, like, the final two or three heaters, and they're all titanium heaters and whatnot. He goes to plug in one eater, and I will go ahead and let the big man take this over, because he absolutely loves this story for some reason.
Speaker A:Wait, did anybody's arms or hands go numb?
Speaker E:I plug in this heater, and my son starts, like, mosh dancing and shit. I'm like, what the hell?
Speaker A:Wait, can you explain for the class with a mosh dances?
Speaker E:He's sitting there, and he's, like, doing fist bumps and then bashing his head and all that. And I'm like, what the hell? Is it warm or not? Some of a bitch. Next thing I know, I realize he's being shocked. He's being so cute. He's holding on to this heater, and it's making it hold on more. He can't speak. He's just jumping up and down and, like, fist pump in his hand.
Speaker D:Like.
Speaker A:He was in pain or something, like you said.
Speaker E:They're like, yeah. And I'm like, josh.
Speaker A:Are you okay? We need to get you a doughnut. I mean, that's why they called Josh.
Speaker E:He was awesome. He was moshing and shit. I'm thinking, this is the greatest thing ever. Why are you doing this? Just tell me this. Warm. And he's jumping up and down and hold. Finally, I realize he's being shocked, and I unplug it, and he drops to the ground. And he's laying down the ground.
Speaker F:No, before all that, I swing this goddamn heater out of my hand. It hits the wall, and it bends into a sea like a damn boomerang.
Speaker E:He finally overcame the power because he was being electrocuted. It was making his hand clamp down on it, and he couldn't let go. And yeah, that happened. It was the funniest shit ever. Oh, my God. It was so funny. He does not like titanium heaters no more.
Speaker A:It wasn't getting warm.
Speaker C:Did it work?
Speaker A:That was cold lightning right there. So I have this rack of ten gallon tanks. It's 910 gallon tanks, and I wanted to put them in a recirculating system that I could shut off so I can quarantine these tanks. So I finally built this thing. There's a lot of stories with that that we've talked about in the podcast before of troubles we've had. But my electrocution story is I got a titanium heater because I did not call Josh and say, hey, which one bends in a sea that I shouldn't touch? So I put that in the bottom. There's no fish in my tank really yet, besides, like, a Beta. And I go in to check the water temperature the next morning, and my roommate's standing next to me, and we have concrete floors. I was barefoot. He was not. I stick my finger in there to test the temperature, and as I stick my finger and I go, hoo. Yeah. My roommate just looks at me like, what's going on? I look at the tank, I look at my finger. I just stick it right back in the water. What is your gun? You got shocked.
Speaker C:How many times?
Speaker A:And I'm like, no, that can't be right. And I do it one more time. I'm literally audibly making that noise. And he's like, what is wrong with you right now? I'm like, I think I'm getting electrocuted. What is going on? And then he puts it in like, no, it's not working. And so I do it again, right? He had shoes on, so he had insulator. I was directed to the concrete, and sure enough, because of the recirculating system, all nine tanks were getting electrocuted at once. But I had them on plastic insulators, so there's no grounding from the tanks. I was the only ground to the ground. I was getting hard electrocution from all of it. And don't get titanium heaters if you can help it. Or if you do, make sure you have a titanium grounding rod.
Speaker E:Voice of reason coming in. In rob's podcast, voice of Reason, get grounding probes. They cost $2.99.
Speaker A:Titanium grounding rods, they're easy peasy. I threw one in, fix the heater, and I don't have to go anymore. So word to the Y, how did that go? Waiting for that to be a new ringtone. Could you explain how a titanium grounding rod works? So what do you do is you put the rod in the aquarium, and you stick it into a wall outlets that has the third round plug. That's the ground. If you don't have that, you can't stick it in there, and it grounds out all the electricity in the tank directly to your wall outlet.
Speaker F:So what you're saying is, if you live in a house that is older than a certain amount of time that doesn't have very good or doesn't have modern wiring, and you have to use.
Speaker A:Little ground plugs, it's not going to work. Keep goldfish, right?
Speaker E:Keep goldfish. Well, they have grounding fogs. You can take them, and, you know, they're like 20 foot of wire, and they're all just a piece of metal that goes into your tank, and it hooks over the back. And then you can run that grounding probe down to your water lines, which are grounded down, and no electrical shock happens to your fish or you. It just gets grounded directly. So there are different variations of it. Yeah, it's definitely a good idea.
Speaker C:Yeah, it works. Something similar to a lightning rod on your roof of your house back in the exactly. My parents used to have a big two storey house and they had a lightning rod and the big, I think it was a copper cable, came all the way down into this big stake into the ground. Well, something similar.
Speaker A:Now that was just an add on to the electric story. But my story I'd like to leave with something that people can take away. Always plan for the unexpected. Like it's going to work perfectly. Trust me, you said it out loud. It's not. That's my favorite fish. Well, that's the one. Shirt are going to die. So murphy's Law of the aquariums always happens, even in the perfect situations. So in elementary school, I was in my 7th, 8th grade year. I'm the class clown. I'm bored at school. I think that all this extra algebra I'm never going to use in the rest of my life is a waste of time. But you're right, which I'm right. But I decided, hey, why can't we get something in like a class pet? So I try to talk to my teacher into getting fish, of course. So she finally lets in on probation. This has to work out. So I tell her I'll bring a kiddie pool into the classroom. It's a mixed grade classroom, so we have every grade from first grade all the way up to 8th in the same classroom, right? And we get this kiddie pool, we fill it with water, we put a filter on the side and we have goldfish in a pond. They just built a brand new school this year. We put this kiddie pool in, we put goldfish in there. And then a couple of kids say, oh, I have some koi someone gave me, and they put them in the pond. Well, me not thinking I'm on probation. This has to work out. If there's any extra mess, if there's a ton of different cleanings they have to do, if they make splashing noises, that leave. So I'm all on probation. So I'm trying to make sure all this works and it's not a distraction for the students. So we put this pond in the classroom and little do I know, because again, murphy's Law, I didn't do enough homework. I'm an idiot kid. They installed floor heating. So unheated pond, which is supposed to be cool on the cement floor, was hotter than the rest of the room and it was apparently the perfect temperature for fish to spawn. And when we first put this thing in, we had coy in there that were getting close to the mature age. As the class goes on, a couple of days go in as the tank warms and warms over time with waves of heat. Because again, the school year starts in the fall, which is warmer and the heat doesn't kick on. As the wintertime kicks in, these fish are getting more and more rambunctious. We're talking splashing in the middle of class maybe a blurb. The teacher kind of ignores it, thinking, oh, fish is fish, right? And I'm sitting there wondering what the hell is going on? Now they're chasing each other in the pond. I'm still in experience at this time with how specifically a koi and goldfish breed. I know that they're supposed to be chasing, and I'm not sure what's happening. So as this is going on, the younger kids are close to the pond. The teacher's thinking that anytime that they feel like they're not wanting to look at their work, maybe the pond will distract them so they're not disrupting other kids, which worked out great, by the way. So as this happens, right as we're being called to go to lunch, free willy flies across the classroom and lands in the teacher's desk. So always prepare for the unexpected. Coy jumped out. Now we put it back in the next day. We had a bunch of rotting fish all over in the morning because they jumped out of the pond because coy jumped when they breed. So they were induced. They jumped all over, and then we took all of them and put them in the substitute teacher's van.
Speaker E:Why would you do that?
Speaker A:Because they're already dead. I didn't want the other kids seeing them, and I hated the substitute teacher.
Speaker F:You seem to have a lot of hate bottled up inside you, my friend.
Speaker A:It's angst. I have not had enough doughnuts in my life.
Speaker C:It's a lot of sad, sad stories, and I love it when there's sad, sad music behind your sad, sad stories.
Speaker A:Hey, there's no bottle cap, fishing lures or pop cans in this story.
Speaker C:I don't know if you lost one of our podcast, Rich, where scrappy dew put in about five minutes of sad music as rob's telling a story, and it just gets louder and louder and then quieter and louder.
Speaker A:You just put a little violin right there.
Speaker C:It was perfect.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So, Jimmy, besides, you know, music stories, do you have this one last story to close us out? Last time when we did Story Time, you gave us the best story ever. Now, we can't do this twice perfectly, but what you got for us?
Speaker C:I don't really have anything other than the fact that you said about something about turtles earlier when we were in Florida. Every pet store in Florida are selling the little two inch red ear sliders like you used to be able to get from your local five and dime stores when we were growing up. They're selling them under the vortex that these are for educational purposes only. And so we thought, how much are these? We talked to a supplier down there, and we could pick these things up for next to nothing, like a buck and a half, $2 a piece. And so we said, how do you guys not get in trouble? They said, well, as long as you post for educational purposes only, you can sell them in your pet store.
Speaker A:Now, for those that don't know the usda bans, because the usda, of course, is the smartest organization in the government, they ban any turtle being sold under four inches. So it's been four inches, four inches and over to be sold because the usda believes that there's a higher sell manila risk with turtles under four inches, which is a bunch of crap.
Speaker C:We buy a bunch of turtles, have them shipped back to Minnesota, and we are selling turtles like you wouldn't believe. And all of a sudden, we get a phone call one day, and the usda shows up and says, what are you guys doing? We're selling turtles for education purposes only. They said, yeah, we know about that loophole, but now that we've told you, you got to quit. You got to quit. We went okay. And she says to Mark, who I've sold to Mark because I'm his wholesaler, they jack us up pretty good. And they said, we need to take all these turtles and destroy them. And we're like, you're not going to kill 100 baby turtles, are you? Well, that's what we got to do. So I called over to one of my suppliers. I said, have you ever dealt with this before? And they said, yes, we have, and they're going to try to force you into putting in an ad in the newspaper saying that these turtles are being recalled. And she goes, I'll send you over what you need to put in the newspaper, and they'll lose their mind. And so she sent me over this paper via fax. When people have fax machines, I have to meet with the usda person the next day. And I said, yeah, I'll put it in the newspaper and pay for that. And I said, here's what I'm going to put it in there. So I gave it to her, and it said, by order of usda, these turtles need to be recalled and need to be euthanized. And she goes, we can't put that in the newspaper. I go, Why? And she goes, Because people will come unglued if they know we're killing turtles. I go, well, that's exactly what you're doing. And she goes, well, let's just skip that part, and you guys get rid of the turtles however you see fit. But if I see them in a pet store for sale, she goes, you're both going to jail. Made one phone call, shipped them all back to the person, just took our lumps in and called it a day. So, yeah, another sad story, but you cannot sell baby turtles for educational purposes only, according to usda, once they've told you you can. But it is a loophole on their own law, and they're aware of it.
Speaker A:So that's what we're going to do. Next time we get a bad shipment from Schmelta Airlines, we're going to just put in the paper that the Schmelta wants to kill another 200 fish because they couldn't cancel us at the door at 09:59 p.m.. That doesn't even make sense to me. So anyone else got a story before we end?
Speaker D:It's a funny story.
Speaker A:A quick little hit, one scrap will cut it. Or not.
Speaker D:So I was at the fish store, and long of a hold, someone calls me up, and, hey, I came in the other day, and I bought this thing that cleans your gravel. I'm like, oh, the python? He's like, no, it wasn't a python and stuff. I'm like, well, what did you buy? And he's like, what cleans your substrate? And I'm like, yeah, it's the python. No, it's not. And I said, well, describe it to me. He's like, it's got this tube, and it's got this hose. It looks like a penis pump. I'm like a penis pump. And he's like, yeah, it's a penis pump. So it's actually called a python. And he's like, oh, I was wondering if you have this other attachment. I'm like, yeah, come on in. So this guy is known as the penis pump man at the store.
Speaker A:Wait, did you even try it? It could have worked. You don't know?
Speaker D:I don't know, man. At that time, I was like, wow, penis pump. That's what he neglected to do was a penis pump.
Speaker A:I just want to see the other people in your store while he brings in a penis pump. Like, no, this. And you're like, whoa, there are children here.
Speaker C:I just assume that right now we've got four or five people going and grabbing their python and heading upstairs to their bedrooms going, man, I wish I had donuts.
Speaker D:Trying to get eight inch toll of wood.
Speaker A:Joe Shrimpshak.com by the inch promo code. Aquarium guys. Well, thanks again, guys. It was a lot of fun. We'll continue doing story times. Maybe we can get some of your friends there. I know we got to get Chris biggs in this. He's got some stories to tell. Well, one more shout out.
Speaker E:Again.
Speaker A:You can find the Ohio Fish Rescue on YouTube. Certainly, like and subscribe, they have a ton of videos. How many do you do a week.
Speaker E:Every other day for, I don't know, the last year. Now we're up to probably 230 videos or something. We just let you follow along. We don't do no glamor, no sales pitch, no clickbait. We tell you what we're doing, and you can follow along in real life and see how busy we are, what we do, how we do it, and what we're building.
Speaker A:I apologize. If you want to see the best aquarium decoration you've ever seen your life, and that's Josh in an aquarium, go to check him out on YouTube. And don't forget about Joe. Thanks for again for joining us. Joe Shrimp shack.com for 15% off the shrimp aquarium guys at checkout. And that eight inch chola wood.
Speaker E:Yeah, don't forget the penis pump. That's right.
Speaker A:All right, thanks guys, we'll kick this off and do another podcast soon. Thanks guys, for listening to this podcast.
Speaker F:Please visit us@aquariumguyspodcast.com and listen to us.
Speaker E:On spotify, iHeartRadio itunes and anywhere you.
Speaker A:Can listen to podcasts. We're practically everywhere. We're on Google. I mean, just go to your favorite place, Pocket casts subscribe to make sure it gets push notifications directly to your phone. Otherwise Jim will be crying into sleep.
Speaker C:Can I listen to it in my tree house?
Speaker A:In your tree house, in your fish room. Even alone at work.
Speaker C:What about my man cave?
Speaker A:Especially your man cave. Yeah, only if Adam is there.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker A:With feeder guppy.
Speaker C:No, they're an alerts, you magic loving, fax sucking, mother fat.
Speaker A:Well, I guess we'll see you next time. Later.
Episode Notes
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