Welcome to the Aquarium, guys. Podcast with your hosts, Jim colby and Rob dolson. Hey, guys, welcome to episode 50. We finally made it, Jimmy.

I can't believe I haven't killed you yet.

I mean, you usually speak bank me.

You pay extra for that.

I'm your host, Rob dolson.

I'm Jim colby and we are humbled.

To make it this far at all. I mean, we started, what, last September?

Last September we started and we thought, well, if this lasts for a month, that keeps us out of the streets for a while.

So some fun facts for you listeners. The episode one that you hear, it has a lot of embarrassing pieces in it because frankly, that was our first trial recording. jimmy's never sat in any type of thing that could even been faked as a recording studio. So we sat down, we recorded that, and that more or less unedited is what we came out with. That's good. Let's just start the podcast, that episode and want to see how this goes.

And it was fairly family friendly.

Yeah, I mean, you're going to hear a couple of clips from this in a little bit here, but yeah, that's literally how raw this podcast came out. We had no expectations. Jimmy and I just had a vision that was going on in the hobby so long.

You had a vision?

No, you had a vision too, and the light bulb went off. You said, great, we can put all these trade secrets in, sir.

Yeah, I agree. But you dragged me into this. You darn right you drug me into this and I'm just going to blame you for that for the rest of my entire freaking life.

So by episode five or something, we decided that this is going to be our outlet to tell what no one else will that are hiding it. Because we have a firm belief that the aquarium is aquarium hobbies rotating. And during that rotation, we want no information left in the dirt. So we're going to continually interview experts and give insiders view while having an entertaining podcast.

Yeah. And then our families by episode five had already decided that it was nice that we were the hell the hot of the house right, on mondays. And so we don't know what happens at our house on mondays because it's probably big raging parties and stuff, but we're not allowed to go home as.

Long as they have it cleaned up by Taco Tuesday, that's all that matters.

That's all that matters.

So from the deepest parts of our heart, thank you so much for this podcast and the success. It's all due to people like you. We really have no one else to thank but our sponsors, which has been in the past, joe shrimp, shack, Blue Crown aquatics. And this particular episode is actually sponsored by a gentleman that started out as a fan but has a business of his own, barnwoodhardwear.com. So he sponsored this particular episode, 50 so we could get the edits done. So, number one, you can go to his website. He has artistically hand done amenities for hangers, door handles, all kinds of goodies. But he's starting a line of nano aquarium mounts. They're very nice. He sent me one of the prototypes when he was first designing it. They're wonderful on the website. And you can use promo code fish for some money off of your order. So certainly go to barnwoodhardware.com. And thank you so much, barnwood Hardware, for sponsoring this whole episode.

This whole episode. And we put this together. I shouldn't say we. rob's put this together. Took him a long, long time. And thanks again to Rob for doing all this, because he's the tech guru of the group. And so this is kind of like the best of that we feel of. And so this whole podcast is about 35 seconds long. 35 seconds long?

More like an hour or 20 hours.

20. Do you think it was that good?

I don't, but that is what we actually had some of our fans help curate this montage that we're about to play.

Oh, my Lord.

Yeah. So you're going to hear things in context. You're going to hear things out of context. And above all else, you might even hear Jimmy punch me in the throat.

Finally, I would love to punch you in the throat, but I think that if we really want to do that, maybe we should raise money for, like, Habitat for Humanity or make a Wish, and we do it live on the podcast.

You just want an ice bucket challenge to happen again.

Yeah, but I punch in the throat, and I would donate like, $5 every time it's punching the throat. So our goal would be like 1000. You'd be dead by the end of the podcast. that'd be great.

It's kind of a swear jar. It's a hit. rob's jar. That's right.

Right there to throw it.

Love it. But guys certainly listen throughout. You'll hear transitions, and at the end of the podcast, there'll be two never before heard clips unless you're a donator to the podcast. So go to the end of the podcast. You'll find that. And again, it starts. All these clips start kind of more or less in chronological order. So you'll hear some of our most embarrassing B rated content from episode one starting first. So my apologies. But hey, if you're looking for normal aquarium guys content, next episode will be out here probably in a couple of days. We're going to get you a double this week.

This is a bonus track.

This is our thank you to everyone that's helped us. Shout out to scrap. Shout out to Adam.

Oh, absolutely. We could not do this without these guys. And the four of us shout out to discord. Yes. And shout out to our sponsors. And shout out to our friends and family who have donated to make this podcast possible. Our whole goal is to have fun and to encourage younger people to get into this hobby. And we just did it our own way. And if you like it, great. If you don't like it, suck it.

And the biggest shout out goes out to the comedic jokes about your ex wife.

What? You know, I can't believe we haven't gotten a cease and assist yet.

You figure, I don't even know if she knows about this.

No. Well, my kids do, so eventually she will.

Kyle, don't share this.

Yeah.

All right, guys. Again, thank you again. Hopefully we'll see at the 100 mark again. But again, if you're looking for the normal podcast, it'll be episode 51. We'll get right back on track. But again, sincerely from our hearts. Thank you. See it 100.

Thanks a lot.

They breed on them. And again, the female lays, the male follows behind with the silt sperm. Come on. This is a fun episode. It's jiz.

It is.

They're going to jazz, right?

All shit.

It's just a bad porn movie.

Just going to blow the load all over the thing.

Why?

You collected pickle jars.

Yeah, exactly. You sit there and just go, oh, it's going to be a long night.

What's Jim doing in his basement with all these blue pickle jars? meth, ladies and gentlemen. meth. That's how he's moved on from losing eight grand.

Is that how you do meth? I don't know. It's blue. It's all I know.

It's blue and it's in a basement. It's all that matters.

That's right. Yeah. It's like being constipated for your whole life.

I just want to nut Jimmy. I can't do it. I just need to nut.

His unit.

Looks like a pencil point. It's sharp, it's thin, and it's not that long.

That's why you like angels.

You can relate. Yeah, exactly. Whereas now he threw me for a loop.

I did. I got him unexpected with his pants down.

Yeah. We're doing this podcast naked. Yeah.

And don't smoke them like you'll find when googling alder cones. You'll see some tropical fish. People literally, like, try to light them out. Like, dude, cones.

Don't do that. Don't smoke pine cones.

I can't believe I have enough to say that shit. Thank you, internet, for riding me.

Please don't use your hair dryer in the shower, dumb asses.

Please don't invest in guppies and get.

$8,000 in debt the first year.

The first year?

Yeah, year one.

People have donated. And the biggest, just common, basic goldfish I got was eleven and a half inches. And he said that he put it in his Oscar tank to feed other oscars just in a bag as he bought at Walmart.

Oh, yeah.

Feed. They left this one alone and it grew up and started picking on the oscars.

It became their friend. Yeah.

He needed to make it go away, so he donated it and said, if not, I'm just going to flush it down the toilet. I'm like, I'll take it. So this is a really weird deal. It wasn't pond season, and I had a giant fish that pet stores wouldn't take. So I just listed on craigslist. I made I went on my computer on photoshop and created a certificate of badassery for Bubbles the Goldfish.

Bubbles?

Bubbles the goldfish.

Not a stripper.

Not a stripper. I figured that would be the best title. I didn't want to call them cinnamon the Goldfish.

That's right.

Number one, you'd spell it with a Y.

Absolutely.

So I made a certificate of badassery certifying Bubbles the Goldfish. And I also wrote up a whole story of how he came out of this hellish life living with predators his whole life, then grew up to beat their asses. And I put on there that I have to find a specific person worthy of purchasing bubbles of goldfish.

Beg me for this badass.

I put on there that Bubbles the Goldfish and the framed certificate of Badassery would go for no more, no less than $10.12 in strictly change. A can.

Why $10.12?

A can of beef ravioli.

Yeah.

Chef boyer. D, not the generic.

No, not that crap.

A 20 ounce bottle of Diet Mountain dew. I am a diabetic.

You are?

And a framed picture of betty White. I had somebody messaged me within 20 minutes of the post saying, I'll get what you want. All right, let's meet up and sure. Shit, they delivered. I had a framed it was like an eight by ten of betty White in a framed photo.

So that's where that came from, in your bedroom?

Yes, that's exactly where that came from.

That story just came full circle.

Full circle.

Hey, before I leave, can I borrow that tonight?

All yours. I need it back.

I like betty White, man.

I need it back.

She is badass, betty White.

So off topic.

We got off topic again the three.

Hottest women of all time. You got scarlett johansson, right?

Yes.

That's number three.

Okay.

Margaret robbie right.

Okay.

She's off the suicide squad.

Yes, I'm with you.

And then number one is betty White.

So how long did it take it to get them up to size? I mean, do they grow fast or they grow slow?

Not going to lie to you. People loved them so much when they saw them. I sold them all when they were young.

Also, you just abandoned them like a bad father.

People offered me cash. I can't look at those things and not say, like, no, cash is beautiful, innocent bills that need to be in my wallet.

That's right. And they all fold up so nicely. So nicely.

And they smell like a cheap dinner at denny's.

I had a little incident with the Secret Service one time when Bill Clinton was in town, and that's a whole nother podcast, but I'm writing this down. Yeah, you should write that down, because that is a fantastic story. I was at the airport one time. I'll just give you a little heads up at the airport one time. And I drove around these two black suvs that were just kind of sitting, talking to each other, and they came pulling up on on me and said, what are you doing? Drive around our roadblock. And we're in a rural area where people pull over the side of the road and talk to their neighbor all the time. And I mouthed off and got in some trouble with the Secret Service because Bill Clinton was in town. And yeah, that's a 15 minutes story.

You tell him your monica's cousin?

No, but here's the highlight of the story, is that these numbskulls that jacked me up and I was having a bad day already, and I mouthed off to them, probably way too much than I should have. And I thought to myself as I went home, and I still have it, I still have the Secret Service card that they gave me, because they came rolling up on me and going, what the hell are you doing? I go, who are you, you morons? And then they whipped out the cards, and the deal was that President Bill Clinton at the time was coming into fargo, North Dakota to speak, and they were there securing the area, and he was going to arrive the next morning, the two guys that jacked me up. And on the way home, I thought, I'm probably going to get audited this year. I'm probably going to have the irs crawled up my behind.

You're lucky you didn't have two fingers up your ass.

Yeah, exactly. So anyway, these two knuckleheads then were staying at the local motel. And here's the reason I know that, is because it made national news.

Wait, you made national news?

No, they made national news because these two Secret Service guys went into the hotel and they stayed there, and they were very rude to the help, and they got drunk, then proceeded to go up to the room, and they left a briefcase with the President's itinerary in the goddamn booth that they were sitting.

No shit.

Yes. The reason I know this is somebody that I know, his sister worked there. She was part of this. And this comes directly from his sister, and she was there, robs. And like I said, these guys were jerks to the staff, to the wait staff, and to the bartenders all night long. So the waitress is cleaning up at 01:00 in the morning because the bar is closed up here at 01:00 in the morning. She goes, I found this briefcase. It's not locked. They open it up there's President clinton's itinerary, and they're like, what's this? And they went, this is not good. So they said, Well, I'm going to run it back up to the room. They said screw it. These guys have been jerks to us all night. So they called the FBI, and the FBI came out, got it, went upstairs, woke them up, and they all got to fly home early the next day and lost their jobs.

Oh, boy.

But, yeah, it's more of a story than that. But that was kind of fun.

And I just like to put out, that's all. Just because you had to pick up fish?

Yes. And I drove around the roadblock, and I was having a bad day, and I mouthed off, I love America.

God bless America. So you got your fish home. Let's get back on track.

I wish betty White was with me, but that's another podcast we've already done. So you come back to your facility, you open up the boxes, especially when these ones come to Trans Shipping. They'll have the box. They'll actually have a bunch of newspapers there for installation. Newspaper is a wonderful installation, keeping the boxes warm in the winter. My kids used to come down when they were probably 1012 years old, and they've always wanted to look at the newspaper because all the Sri Lanka, Malaysia, they've always got naked women pictures.

They do. I confirm this because I've got a couple of boxes with you. They still have nudies on there.

Yeah. Anyway, my ex wife would come from cleaning the bedrooms of my children and go, look what I found in their room.

Now I think there's rats. No, they like nude clipping.

Yeah. I have two boys, and they would both like to have unpacked fish. So is betty White off the table? I can hammer on your grandma. I can hammer on betty White.

I feel like we need a better word choice than hammer on my grandma. I really do.

And the thing is, I got to know adam's grandmother very well over the years.

All right, so then it's just my grandma left up for grabs. We got to meet her. I guess that's what we got to do.

I loved adam's grandma. She was very sweet. She'd buy us lunch.

She would.

Hashtag taco Tuesday. All right. Jimmy can relate. When he's in the mood, he always wants people somewhere close by.

Yeah, exactly. So that's that's. I'm usually trying to get it on, like, you know, at Walmart. denny's. Yeah.

Denny'S.

Yeah. perkins. Yeah.

Hashtag 1699 breakfast. All right.

Oh, Lord, here we go, right off the tracks again. My goodness.

Well, technically, the arowana that you fed.

Your Red Tail catfish, that's still funny.

He is a dither fish.

All right, moving on.

Wow. I wish you could be here in this room, Adam. And with watch robs just turned four shades of purple and a little green, and then he's bite in his tongue and he's shaking.

To be fair, I had nothing but a salad tonight. And then I had a big piece of chicken. So it's constipation. That's what it is.

I could sense that. I could sense the irritable ball syndrome happening.

He would butcher them, grind them into.

Burger and sell them to the local jaybee store.

I'm not sure how how do you.

Get away with that?

I think at this very moment, we have now lost the vegan cyclist as our fan. All right, so now decorations. So before we get into decorations, there's these cool things at Walmart that you wanted to talk about. The traditional what would you say? Treasure chest bubblers.

Oh, gosh, I love those. When I first got in, everybody go ahead, Adam. No. Go ahead, jeb. You're going to say everybody hates them?

No, they're not my cup of tea. But everybody likes them because they think it's the coolest thing in the world to have them.

Yeah, I think they're really lame, too, but I just like to get rob's going. But the treasure chest that you see in there, I used to have one of those treasure chests, and it would chop the head off a fish about once every three months. I swear to God. The little treasure the little treasure chest. Seriously? Yeah. I'm not dead serious. The little treasure chest would pop up and just chop this. Hilarious.

Okay, I have that.

Like, something like that.

I'll buy it from you, Mr. Pickle.

So before you go too far, I'd like to point out that Jimmy is not a young man anymore, and the treasure chest that he has probably were made out of lead, and they were literally slashing heads off. The ones they sell now have smooth edges in our plastic from Walmart, Sir engulfed Hole. People don't understand how big those mouths go open.

Kind of like Red Tail catfish drops.

That's what I was wondering.

Yeah. Rob, let's talk about your Red Tail catfish at eight year.

I want to I think this is where I insert the bite me statement.

So did you ever hear this earlier about remember that really nice Iowana that Rob bought from you?

Oh, God, no.

Really nice. Yeah. And it was cheap, too, as well. How much was it, Rob? I don't want to talk about $300.

No, north is a lot more than that.

Like $500?

It is more than that.

More than $500.

I think there was 675 a piece.

So Rob buys this fish, Arowana, which he's in love with, and he put Julie loves me. She cashed my favors because she knew he had a Red Tail catfish in the same damn tank.

The Red Tail. Catfish was a rescue. I got him after the fact. He was literally half the size. He swallowed him whole.

Swallowed his arijuana hole. Rob gives me some crap about I love amazon's magazine, and I get it digitally also, and I give it to him digitally, and he goes, well, why wouldn't you want it digitally? I said, I like holding that in my hand, just like I like buying music and holding that album in my hand so I can look at the liner notes and things like that, because I'm a big music fans, as everybody knows and stuff. And so it's just I think it's because of my age that I like that I like having the books. I know Adam likes to have in the books, too, so I'm not that.

Old, and I like the books. I collect the old books especially because that has all kinds of stuff in them that you don't know about, right?

Yeah.

So just to pinch you guys a picture, just for the listeners, adam and Jimmy both have these hip holster phone things. So just to give you an idea of what I think, I do not.

Have a hip holster phone.

I do. And my kids call it my old man holster, and then I punch him in the throat. But they're adults. They can take it.

I just wonder, what situation do you need that you have to have it on your side? Like, wow.

Well, I was kind of hoping that it would help. When I go to rock concerts, I'd like to drink beer, and I always like to think that this radiation on my hip will help my kidneys function better. So when I'm drinking beer, or maybe when I go to the bathroom, it glows in the dark. I don't know.

Uncle Jimmy, is that your pacemaker?

Yeah. So many people give me crud about my holster, but I broke one phone in my entire life.

How did you break that?

It came out of my holster.

Did your giant catfish eat it?

No, my giant catfish did not eat it. But my kids, my wife have all dropped phones. My wife, I think I can say this, she has kind of a Jennifer Lopez butt, and she puts her phone in her back pocket. Yeah. As she walks away, her phone just swings back and forth with her little behind, and it just pops out of her back pocket and lands on the floor. And I go, Why don't you put it in a holster? She goes, because I'm not old. Like, you.

The best Florida story I've ever heard. And I don't know how close this was to juliet. I hope not. I'm pretty sure it was Miami. It was the Miami zombies. So apparently during the bass salt craze, because people figured out that they could actually use bass salts as drugs, they had a few people that got super high out of their mind and were chasing people down streets, and apparently one guy passed out and they caught someone ripping apart someone's skull. And I remember that trying to eat their brains.

Yes. It was a horrible, horrible story.

They tried to talk to the person, make him stop immediately to try to save the person. He was, quote, unquote, attacking, and he wasn't responding. They had to straight shoot him. So ever since then, that summer, at least people were freaked out that there was actual zombies, but all they tested for was basalts. So they had some kid that had a terrible sense of humor and decided that he was going to dress himself up with movie theater quality people and dress himself up as a zombie and chase people around Miami. Only in Florida. Only in Florida.

Then what happened to him?

He almost got shot. He did? He have it on video. Like the guy pulled out a gun on him. Like just crazed people reaction because they actually believe zombie.

What's?

That Orlando had the clown person.

Oh, I've not heard. Tell me about that. There was some guy dressing up as a clown that would just stand in certain areas and then disappear.

No, he didn't do anything.

But he would like to scare people.

No.

Dead adam. He's got a clown phobia.

Well, see, that's why they shoot movies in Georgia, because they can't do it in Florida. Because people think it's real.

Exactly.

So for those that don't know or haven't, Ohio fish rescue videos, rich has the best the best mullet I've ever seen in my life.

Makes Billy Ray cyrus look like a pussy.

Joe Dirt is jealous. The other thing is jimmy, what do.

You got there, Rob?

Will you quit staring at my tits already? I know I'm wearing this new aquarium guys T shirt. And I know you're jealous because you need to buy yours tonight.

Do I have to buy mine tonight?

You do.

I'm just going to have to buy mine tonight, too.

I'm just going to wait for your mom to buy me one like she bought you one. Oh, my God. Slam. Get up.

See, I think the next day we're going to release a podcast tonight. It is Wednesday. I think you have tomorrow is the last day of 15% off. Certainly go to aquariumgistpodcast.com. On the bottom, you'll see the merch store. We have a bunch of different choices. And again, I did make a terrible promise a couple of podcasts ago that if we get 20 different people purchasing from the store, not 20 total items, 20 different people purchasing that I take pictures in an aquarium guy's crop top. So still on. As much as I regret it, I will do this.

Rob'S is a large gentleman. Are you 62?

I am 6363. £350. That's a whole lot of man goodness.

You're a little bit bigger than me.

I just need the mullet. That's what I need.

You know what? After we get off this, I'm going to call Billy Ray cyrus, make fun of that pussy because he doesn't have a decent haircut.

Oh, my God.

Back in the day, I got to meet Billy Ray cyrus. I used to work for a grocery store for years and years and years, and we had a thing. Our event here is called We fest, and it's the largest music country festival in the nation at the time. And Billy Ray performed. I delivered backstage. And there's Billy Ray and trish. And this was in the mullet days. And he had two little kids with him. I imagine one of them was miley and I probably should have ran her over, I guess. I don't know.

Something. Then you hit it like a wrecking ball.

No, I'm not hitting it like a wrecking ball. You.

Any podcast?

That's a new one, but that's going.

Into the Christmas end of your clips.

Montage.

But Billy Ray, he was rocking the mullet back then. I don't know if he's still doing it or not and stuff, but Rich has got some fabulous fabio type hair. Check it out on YouTube. These guys have got a bazillion. Is it a bazillion? Probably more different videos on there. And they often make fun of themselves like we do. So it's a lot of fun. Check it out.

We're just happy that Jimmy does fish because he clearly can't do math.

Can't do math.

How much you put in there? 10 ml. Just put a cap. Just put the cap.

Take a swig out of the bottle. Shut up.

Our event is we have these county fairs. Minnesota, I'd say above any state. Probably Minnesota, maybe Wisconsin. We're known for all of our weird festivals for no apparent reason.

We make stuff up just to get a party.

Just to give you an idea, we have a town next to us called and when they have this 20 years of doing this, of a testicle festival, they chop off all the cabs balls, freeze them.

Festival it is.

They deep fry them, mince them up and you have a big old platter of balls to eat. It's a big to do around here.

And then you drink some beer.

Minnesota is filled with weird obscure you.

Want to go to the Minnesota Testicle Festival?

Hell yeah.

Hey, we will, honey.

You can have all the balls you want to eat.

Gobble them right up.

Yeah. You know what? We're going to set you up. We're going to send you a big plate of balls. You know what?

I'm going to get a big old.

Bucket of balls and I'm going to just leave them on their doorstep.

It just happened. It was September.

Guys, I think I got to go.

Oh, no.

We got all night, man.

Oh, my God. We're lifting an eight foot tall biofilter and we're going to put it into our pool. Because this came out of aquarium Adventure when they closed down, so we carried it home and we don't want the bacteria to die, so we want to set it up as fast as possible. So here I am, I'm carrying my side. It's about £150. His side is about £150 because it's full of K One Media, the whole eight foot. It's two foot by two foot by eight foot and it's heavy as can be. So I'm carrying my side. I get over the little pool. It's about three foot tall. It's 14 foot long by seven foot wide and three foot tall. I get over it. And I get into the water, and I start pushing the fish back, and I start walking backwards. Well, Josh gets over with 1ft and then his other foot, and now we're into the pool, and I'm wanting to walk back about another eight foot. Well, Josh stops walking, and I'm trying to pull him. I'm like, Josh, quit messing around. And I'm trying not to swear here, because what I said was swear words. Quit effing around is what I said.

Nub. Oh, boy.

Josh is like, dad. And I'm like, what, boy? Come on. Quit messing around. He's like, dad. And I'm like, what? He was, A fish has got me. And and he's, like, doing this dance thing now.

Got me there, right?

I'm like I'm like, what the what the f you know? What do you mean a fish has got you? He was, dad, a fish is biting me. And he's still doing this dancing s thing, and he's moving around, and I look over, and sure, shit, there's a four foot alligator guard done bit his foot. He's got his bottom jaw under his foot and his top jaw on the arch of his foot, and the thing is shaking left and right. I'm like, oh, my God. At this point, I then realized my son is a god. I mean, if that was me, I'd have screamed and let go of the damn filter. My son is like, dad, the fish has got me. And he's shaking. The fish is shaking them. I mean, it's like, holy shit. This was crazy. My son is a beast.

You're a man.

I am so glad he didn't have you by the crotch, Josh. This whole time he said he's shaking you, and I'm just like, where's the fish got you. My God, that was a great story.

If you got me by the crotch, my name might not be Josh today. It might be jacqueline.

His name was Ted. Ted?

Yes, Ted, the hot dog man.

Seven gallon tank that was outdoors at the time. And he had some huge fish, 19 huge catfish. Well, his tank broke open, and he was giving them away. It was on monsterfishkeepers.com. And I just silly Put on a post. I'll take them off, and people were like, they were jumping on it. And he was like, all for it. And I'm like, Wait a minute. I was kidding. And next thing you know, I bought a box truck for $2,400. We built an 800 gallon, two x four wood tub with a liner in it. And then my son Josh, my son richie, and the guy that worked for me at the time, ricky, drove straight through to Washington, and it was 72 hours drive there and back. Supposedly, it took, like, 90 some, but they made it there. They collected all the fish. They got them all into this tub. And now my idea was, well, if we're having three drivers, we can drive straight through because I'll put a piece of plywood on top of this big 800 gallon tub, and we can put a mattress on top of there, and then somebody can sleep while somebody's driving.

What the hell?

It was a great thought.

Osha approved.

Yes.

Now, check this out. Here we go. My son richie's driving. ricky's in the past, you see, Josh is in the back. Now they're using prime. Have you ever smelled prime? smells like ass.

There's another sponsor we should go after.

Great product, and it works great. It takes the chloramines chlorines out of the water, but it does smell like ass and sulfur. We're doing 800 gallons of it. Here's what we didn't take into consideration. My son is locked in the back of a truck with an 800 gallon tank full of prime and 19 four foot fish that are being air rated, and the air bubbles are busting and shooting the prime up into the air. And so my son richie pulls over at a gas station to get gas, and he comes in the back, and he unlocks the door for joshi to get out. Well, joshi was sleeping back there or.

Passed out or dead.

He goes and he gets a whole truck full of fresh air. Well, he gets up off of this concoction, this bed, this box, and he gets 1ft out of the truck, and he passes the f out and falls down the rest of the truck bumper and steps and everything to the ground. Well, everybody there around there, they were like, oh, my God, this kid is drunk, and it's clearly he's underage, so they called the cops on him.

Oh, no.

Now, mind you, my son richie and ricky are in the store. They're getting posted. They're getting chips.

Jimmy. jimmy's.

Jerky.

By the time they come out of the store, they paid for their gas. They come out, and there's cops and, like, a crowd around the back of the truck, and they come walking up. They're like, what's going on? Well, the cops grab them and throw them to the ground. They handcuffed them. They throw their snacks everywhere.

What state was that?

This was what state was that, Josh? It was washington.

Washington state. So you didn't even get out of.

Washington before you got to die.

These poor kids are getting arrested for rescuing fish, and now they're on the ground, they're getting handcuffed, and everybody's around like they should die because they got this child. This kid drunk and shoot him. The cops made joshi take a breathalyzer, and he passed. He wasn't drunk. He was passed out from prime.

That is the best.

Yes.

We got to contact everybody got released.

And they drove away.

With your host.

Jim colby and Rob dolphin. Oh, what? Hold on. I think we're getting some interference. 1 second. I think we have a problem here, ladies and gentlemen. Jim, what the hell is that thing in your mouth?

I got my birthday gift from my wife.

Okay. Who gets a Diggery due for a birthday gift?

Me, man. I got a ditchery due.

I've seen. Let's take you out to dinner. Let's go to the movies.

Let's lame.

But a diggery do. I thought it was a sex toy when you brought it in.

It is pretty large.

And in charge.

And in charge, yes. We went to a rock concert not too long ago. We saw a band called like a Storm that opened up for ozzy osborne. And then we were lucky enough to have them come to our local facility nearby in fargo, North Dakota, and we went to their show, and they play a digger Do during their hard rock and act. They are hard rock band. And we got invited on the tour bus with them and talked to them for about 45 minutes, I think. We're on the bus. And anyway, we were able to order a digger redu direct from them. So they made it for us, and they sent it to us in the mail. And so I have a like A Storm didridew, and I'm rocking the house.

So well, if I'm doing the math correctly, does that mean that when you go to madonna's farewell concert, you're going to buy a bra?

Some cones.

Just some cones.

Just some big cones, yeah.

All right, well, I am your host, Rob Zulson, and the other gentleman sitting.

Across from me is hey, it's Jim colby here. Having a good time.

Just diggin the do.

Digging the do.

Digging the do. Adam is also with us. Adam, help me.

You're stuck with them, like, five, 6 hours away.

See, this is the pain of being in the actual studio here, but we do what we can, so hopefully maybe we can get you practiced on that.

I'm going to learn to play it. I don't know if you probably didn't catch it, but I don't know how to play it.

I thought it was a dying moose call.

It could have been there could be some moose out in the backyard going looking for love in all the wrong places, but that's a whole nother country music story.

All right, one more tangent. We're in Minnesota Vikings territory, right? And I don't know if you ever listen to a Vikings game, but you'll hear in the background when they score Touched on Giant North Horn, and I thought that's what he was going to do tonight.

Mine is too small.

It is.

That's always been the case.

It's always been the case.

Mine is too small and it's not big enough. But this did. redu. I'm thinking I'm going to learn something and maybe I'll do some solos later on.

If we have some requests, message us. Guys. Aquariumgeistpodcast.com on the bottom.

I have a 20 minutes dirt Reduce solo. I already can tell.

Oh, my God.

All right. You have to play the kazoo or some shit. Adam that's okay.

Then we'll get one of those monkeys.

Diego and I'll just fart in the mic, you know, and let's get one.

Of those monkeys with the symbols, you know, that just bangs the symbols. Let's get one of those monkeys, too. We don't have to pay them.

This podcast is degrading now.

Yeah.

All right, aquarium guyspodcast.com. At the bottom of the website, we have our email address and telephone number. You can call and leave us a message so we can play it on air and request that Jimmy never play the digger redu again. It's up to you.

But I'm right here. I can hear you, and I have feelings.

All right, hearing check is complete. And mark that on off the list.

One done.

One done.

What I heard, and I'm very excited. I want to do a shout out to my friends this week. It's the 50th anniversary of the gang from sesame Street. So I want to say hi to Burton. ernie.

Oh, my God.

And Cookie Monster and all those guys. I'm just really excited about this.

Where are you now?

Yeah, but, you know, here's the problem I have with sesame Street. I watched it as a kid. Yes, there was TV when I was a kid, Rob, so don't sit there and nod to your head that I didn't watch.

No, it was just started in living color, was the advertisement.

Don't bite me. So when I'm listening to this and stuff, I'm thinking, you know what would make this more realistic is let's update let's update this whole sesame Street thing to 50 years old. Let's make them their age. So I'm going to come up with a new sesame Street thing. I'm going to try to get the wall wall. I'm going to switch it up a little bit.

So what they're going to do, right? Let me guess on this one, right? So you're going to see burt and ernie as an old gay couple driving in a car on Sundays real slow, and then you're going to see Cookie Monster fat like William Bradford. Talk about diabetes.

Diabetes. Yeah.

Right?

Exactly. So I want to make this a reality show. We all know the Count, right? The vampire looking dude. So he's been diagnosed with ocd, and he's now suing The Big Bang Theory because he just now realized that they stole his identity and gave it to sheldon. And so I think that would be kind of cool. And like you said, Cookie Monster, we're going to give him diabetes.

I got to give you more homework because clearly you have all this free time.

I had 4 hours of driving there. I had a lot of stuff.

Oh, my God.

I want Big Bird to break a hip. I want him to be in the Big Bird house.

Well, he would be in the sanitarium because he has that imaginary a friend.

This is degrading. Very effective.

So the Stephalophagus, they put him on antidepressants, stuff like that, no, he's imaginary. Stefolophagus is not imaginary. We all can see. Yes, he is.

All right, I'm going to reel this back into the podcast here.

Come on, I have to have one more.

All right.

We finally discover why Oscar the grouch is a grouch. You know why? ebola.

He's not been laid.

Wow, you guys are evil. No. We finally find out that what happened is that his wife had an affair with Cookie Monster and Dabrinus. Yeah. From dobie. And then his wife and kids left him, and then he lost his job, and he lost his mortgage on his garbage can, and now he's living in a cardboard box down by the river. I think the thing would just be score big on TV. I think the kids love it.

All right, well, I know now to give you more homework during the week.

I don't like it.

Your kids? Are you the one that took took away all the candy from the kids last week at him?

Dad, tax is not stealing.

I've been in the wholesale business many years, and I've dealt with the flipping airlines, and I'm not going to bad malta Airline.

It rhymes with smelter.

It does. Okay, thanks for saying it.

I'm here for you.

Oh, man. rob's and I were just went up to Schmelta on Monday and picked up a load of stuff, so it was pretty cute.

I went in there, right? They look at me, and then they look at Jim and have a completely white face all of a sudden, and they call him by name, which no airline associate does. We'll get your package right away, sir. I'm like, what happened?

I had an instance here about three months ago. I got there, they said, well, the person that does cargo went home early, and we can't give you stuff till tomorrow. And I'm sitting there with $3,000 worth of stuff. I lost my mind. And I made her cry. I made her cry.

She deserved it.

Good. I made her cry. And then the manager came, and then the security came, and I told barney fife, the security agent that hebrew, to get more help because I'm going to lose my f in mind.

Barney fife is old and small.

Yeah. And anyway, they finally got me my stuff, and now the last ten times they've been in there, they've gotten me out pretty darn quick.

First name basis.

Yes. And she doesn't cries me. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. They don't care. They do not care. I had about 25 boxes, and it looked like someone played hockey with the tow motors. I was so freaking pissed. And they give you the run around. I email you, do all this stuff. It's a long, drawn out thing until you finally give up. I mean, I had, like, $6,700 in shipping, and it was oh, man. Yeah, you don't get me started on that shit. I picked up a box one time. You're going to back me up on this, Dave. I know you are. The fish that are dead are always the most expensive thing that you ordered every single time. murphy's Law. Yes. And I had a box with a hole in it, one side and out the other, and they go, yeah, it came in like that. And I said, that's funny. It matches your freaking forklift tine perfectly as I stood there and put the box up to the forklift tine. And this was back before 911, when I actually could go in the back of melta Airlines.

Not anymore.

Can't go back there anymore. And anyway, not unless you help them.

With a dead body.

Yeah. And son of a gun, if it didn't take me I'm not kidding you, it took me about 120 days to finally get paid and the one bag of fish, and it was about $180, and I wasn't going to let it go. I just became rabid at that point. And I thought, if I have to go out here and steal $180 worth of napkins from smelt to airline you.

Tried to do the toilet paper, but they had those lot cases. You just had to unroll it and then kind of put it in your bag.

I don't blame you. I'm still bitter before I die or I'm coming back. As karma.

As a death wish, we're just going to go in the front and leave a deuce, right?

Leave it on the weight where you drop the boxes, whatever you weigh your box when you walk in, just leave one right there. squat a pop there.

Want to weigh out that turd? Excuse me. Am I overweight? ma'am, go ahead and just take some off for me, why don't you?

You know what? We're going to do this because we've had so many people on this podcast that have absolutely just hate the airlines. So I'm going down there to take care of his person, and he's going to come up here to fargo. We're going to get Steve or vicky to go somewhere else to take we're all going to go over and just repay everybody's debt. It's going to go on the news.

It's like some anonymous pack, but everybody's crapping on scales.

You don't want your face if you're if you're from here, you don't your face on the local news. But I don't care about Ohio letter rip. I don't care.

You're already on the what was it? Secret Service wise? Secret Service is not it can't get worse.

That's another story that yeah, the Secret Service does not like me, right?

No, it was just so hilarious because I went in there and, you know what did you say, barney Fifth as the guy? Yeah, he looked over and then saw me.

Because you're, what, five five eight on a good day.

Right? I'm 6263, so I'm not a small man either. So I'm towering above gym, and he comes in there and I wear shades. I have an eye condition. So I come in a big dude, big black coat, black shades next to the guy that made the gal behind the counter cry. They were definitely staring me up one side and the other.

Yeah. I wish you had a trench coat on, because then we could have made the news again.

Yes.

Ward, why don't visit you guys? Yeah, I used to use a trick, and I know rob's used a trick, too. When we used to have a lot of trumpet snails in a tank, we would take and put a piece of cucumber on a small plate and turn off the light. And then you come back down 2 hours later and you turn on the light and there's a thousand snails on top of that and you just take that plate out and throw it away. Could I take a small net and lay in the bottom of the tank and put some shrimp it in there.

Perfect.

Some people do that, too. So go for it.

I'm the smartest guy in the room. I feel good about myself right now.

And just to let you guys know, we did take all those trumpet snails on the plate and burnt them with fire.

And they're still alive.

They're still alive.

Yeah. You know what you should do is we should just introduce all the trumpet snails to Schmelta.

Well, here's what we got to do, right? You got a list, right? You have cockroaches, trumpet snails, trumpet sales, and jim's ex wife. They're all going to survive.

She might actually survive the cockroaches and the trumpets.

There you go.

Wow.

We're here for you, buddy.

All right.

To describe the egg harvest process, you get adult males and females, and you actually do the squeeze process, or hop. Yeah.

So when they're ready to release their eggs, their bellies are loose versus tight, and if you just physically push gently on the underside of a female walleye, her eggs come out pretty easily. So we do strip the eggs from each female into a dry bowl, add the sperm from three males just for genetic diversity. Make sure we're not wasting a lot of eggs on a male that may not be able to fertilize them. Stir it with a feather just to be gentle with them. Make sure we've got a feather. A feather, yes. And add water at that time.

There's no cooking spoon.

There is no cooking spoon. We did try silicone bastards for a while and some of those new things, but that was just a little rough. Back to that 1940 technology. We're on feathers. Feathers and polyester quilt bedding.

You go back to the covered wagon.

And then we cover the wagon when.

We bring them into hatchery. And then they have a corn feed in the back of the haylove.

Yeah. After they butcher the chickens and seal the feathers.

No, we trade chickens for new materials.

Is it just like a fake plastic feather or is it actually like a bird feather?

No, it's actually the secondary flight feathers of a goose that work the best.

Oh, my. That's how they keep the fungus out of it. It's a little goose dusting, you know what I mean?

And the goose's name is Bruce.

His name is Bruce.

Yeah.

He's really pissed at us all the time. We run around chasm, give me that fellow.

He doesn't fly so well when we pull a secondary flight.

And hence that's why he lives here.

Bruce is bald, but he's living in.

Back in the garage. Exactly.

I just want to start giggling right now because we talk about a python.

It reminds me of a customer that.

Didn'T know what this was, and she decided to call it something completely different. So every time she'd come into the store, we would just call it that. So you can probably think what we were calling it.

Was it the love python, the super serpent?

It had to do something with a certain word and a pump, because that's what she called it. She was like, hey, do you have any more of those pumps? And I'm like, we got them right over here. And everybody would look at us. And I was just like, Wang pumps. There you go.

Yeah.

Wang Pump.

Wang chung pumps.

So it's funny because it's like little things like that always bring back good memories and stuff. Like customers. Yeah, I love that customer. It's right. Just so you know, inside joke. I'm going to take a pause here. So Robbie informed us, right, that he's going to be trying to get biological bacteria in a bottle. He's working on that, right? So we've been trying to come up with a name and poop Juice. We're pretty reluctant on poop juice. Poop, you got to help us out.

Poop Juice.

Hashtag poop juice on social media. hashtag poop juice. Yes. And he's liking it, not going to lie. He's trying to see if he can lock it that down. robbie's squirts.

Oh, Lord.

Robbie, if you end up doing that, I want credit for it. Mainly credit on his next order of shrimp. That's what he's going to send him.

A bottle of poop juice.

Poop Juice.

Poop runs liquid.

Poop juice. Right. And we're going to get that mole removed on your butt cheek there, Jimmy.

When I saw that laser, I did say to Sean, I said, I spent all this money on a bisectomy and I can probably come over here and had it done for nothing.

I mean, he is skilled. He has a good aim.

Yeah. I'm not too sure if he sees it at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Maybe he is a doctor, we don't know.

Okay, I'm going to pause you there. You made this joke a couple of times, holiday in Express. I had to google it. Sure enough, it was a commercial, a big meme for a while. He didn't know that you are a skilled member.

You know what? The next thing, I'll show you what a phone booth is. We'll go over that again.

They don't even have phone booths anymore. No, those are for superman to change in, all right? That's what they're exclusively made for. I don't know what the phone part is for, but we'll get to there.

You young kids know nothing.

My grandma had a rotary table of foam.

Yeah, she probably whacked you alongside the head with it, too.

He told me. Do you see this, Sean? This is the abuse I have to take on the podcast.

Well, I think that's what makes the podcast as good as it is. And you know anything about a podcast? You can't see the bruises. That's true. It's all good. Orange and socket of sock. Yeah.

If you feel as threatened as I do, go to the aquarium, guys. podcast.com at the bottom of the website. Call us and just check in on us to see if we're okay.

Do you feel safe at home? No.

I'm just going to get this off my chest right now because I know you're going to make fun of me forevermore.

You're going to tell everybody about your new nickname that I gave you.

What is my new nickname, sir?

Nubs.

So the story behind nubs is I was ordering some Chinese product in. I decided to get myself high quality stuff, high quality glass plant pots for in the aquarium with suction cups. But when you get stuff from China, it doesn't really have warning labels on it, so it's not my fault, Jimmy.

Like you wouldn't have read it anywhere. You dip wood.

That's fair. These are nice. You can look them up. They're like little glass pots with suction cups. I put on discord. I put it on our I believe our Facebook page. If not, I can make sure it's on there after this episode. But I decided that I was going to try to pull off one of the suction cups because it's really strong on there because I was trying to reverse it.

Yeah, you're a six foot two guy and you're trying to pull off a suction cup. What happened?

Right? What happened?

Professor dumb. dumb?

You can't with these things. You have to either put the suction cup on Direct or pull off direct. You cannot bend left or right because glass doesn't bend.

Glass doesn't bend. There's something new that we've learned, right?

So I shattered my hand and you.

Shattered your hand or cut my fingers.

I shattered it in my hand. Cut down to the bone.

That was funny, right? I laughed my head off when you sent me that picture. My wife and I are at my house and we've got company, and we both get a text from Rob about the same time. And I open it up. Oh, my God, there's his finger and his thumb just bleeding. profusely, and he's at the doctor's office having stitched up. jen goes, did you see what Robbie just sent us? And I went, yeah, I did. And she goes, thank God he wasn't getting the vicectomy today. Said, yeah, no kidding.

It actually happened the day after we released the last podcast. So in my phone, I still had a lot of favorites and whatnot, so I took pictures, of course, me at the doctor's office getting stitches because I.

Think it's cool because everybody wants to see that.

Everybody wants to see it. Come on, what is it? So I have my hand caked in blood, five stitches in the finger, and I decided to send pictures to my most immediate friends. And I just like to apologize to Mr. Sean kramer because I miss sent my bloody hands to him as a text message. And I just realized this, like, a few days ago, so my bad. And I need to go through my phone to see who else got the shockingly bloody pictures. So my apologies, but they are no longer infected. I'm able to use them fully, so they just look terrible. I am not nubs, sir. You're defensive.

You're new nicknamed with nubs. Thanks for the apology for sending it to me. You don't seem to care that you send. No, I was having dinner with friends, and I get this picture, like, ew.

Okay. There's three things in life that you share with your friends, right? A good smell, like a rotten fart. Like, dude, oh, that's terrible. Here, take a sniff. Right? No, you do that with something that tastes terrible, like, oh, this is awful. Here, you want to try one?

No.

And you also do is like, oh, my God, what was that? You just sent me a picture of? That's what friends are for.

Yeah, we're going to have a little class later on about etiquette, and you're going to be my star people.

As long as it's not in a glass container. That's right when you're giving me the lesson.

That was pretty funny. So I really enjoyed that. rob's ended up in the er over Christmas break, and we took off, what, two weeks, right? I think.

Yeah, you did. I mean, Adam and I, we got back in the studio. We got another podcast coming up here soon that you just slumped up on.

That's right. Because I was making mary. And so that's what I really enjoyed about Christmas is I don't have to put up with you two guys.

You didn't even make us, like, a popcorn thing for our tree or nothing. You just ignored us.

Ignored you? Yes. That's perfect.

You can't beat nemo. You set up a salt water tank for kids. You know what I mean? Right?

Every once in a while, my wife and I will stop and do a little maintenance for ty if he's running low and we happen to be in this neighboring town, and we talk. About going over there and deslibing the tank, because it's in the pediatric area where all these kids with runny noses and sweaty hands leave boogers all over the tank like they've been slimed by Slimo from ghostbusters. And you go in there with a thing of windex, and you click lean. You go, I think I got it all. And as you're cleaning it, you look across, and there's another three year old looking at you through the other side of the tank with snot running down his face with his hands on the tank. You just want to punch him with.

His nose pressed up against the glass.

While you're doing the other side.

And that's the point where I punch him in the throat.

If only.

Trailer parks make tornadoes horny.

That's exactly what it is.

That's it.

Trailer parks make tornadoes horny. Yes. Or drive your local store and buy a new one. Dumbdum.

No. See, we're going to do it in another episode of the hobos tank.

Hobo tank.

Aquariums for hobos.

That's what we're going to do. Yeah, because who doesn't want aquarium in their cardboard box down by the river?

Find yourself a person that used to wear belts more prominent and get free tanks from him.

Listen, Santa claus is fat, and he still could scratch a tank with his belt buckle. This is just going south real quick.

You're buying me a pony as well next year, right, Santa?

No, because there's weight restrictions on ponies, and I'm pretty sure when I march out to clydesdale, you'll take offense.

That's it. When Jimmy orders his tank from you, allow me to scratch it first.

Yeah, exactly.

That way we can just show the audience how easy it is to buff out. But if this is your first podcast you're listening to, I highly recommend going back, listen to them all the way from the beginning. We have a long series of podcasts, even though the first one was a touch embarrassing, I listened to it here last week, and I had some choice words.

It was a whole lot of talking.

About nothing I said, like, Jimmy, I just Want to nut, I think, was the best single out of context line from the first podcast.

And we're still on the air.

We are. It's been a great ride.

The number one reason we started this podcast is we want to encourage the younger listeners, especially to get into the hobby and lose all your money. Because that's the American way, right?

That way kids and adults don't have enough money for more shelters, drugs, stuff like that.

Drugs?

Drugs.

There's always enough money for drugs you don't have.

If you say so. Is that the baby powder on your face?

No, it's powdered donuts.

There's a little sniff right there and powdered donuts.

No.

Got to stay away from the diabetes.

Stay away from the diabetes.

Worry about your cholesterol. You got eat some cheerios. What, are you out of breath. Calm down.

Wow.

It decided to choke on a piece of shrimp. It wasn't too big. It just got kind of cogyed in its mouth and I could see it choke. Now, when you see a stingray choke, you see that lovely barb and then you think of Steve irwin, but then know that it has toxins or venom on the back of the tail. So I never put my hand in the aquarium knowing this. Even though the likelihood of you getting stung is extremely low. We've seen joey and everybody else. I'm not that faithful of a man and I know that I'm going to reach down and try to rip something out of his mouth. It's probably going to sting me. So I'm looking at it knowing that I'm in Minnesota. I've heard these stories about Adam getting stung by fish, which is hilarious. Don't want to die.

Not die.

So I didn't die.

I decided just to let a choke and die. There's nothing I can do. I had a 24 inch tong. I could poke it. There's just nothing I couldn't do. I had to sit there and watch my fish die. And then my lovely roommate decides to walk up to the tank while I'm basically in tears watching this thing die, trying to figure out how I'm going to tell my wife her immense amount of money. Extremely rare stingray, died.

How much was the stingery?

No, Jimmy, we're not going there. Baby steps, right? Maybe they'll tell them in the future when I'm more comfortable with this. Here's my question.

Why didn't you have a tube from an intake tube and shove that on the tail at any time? That's what I always did with mine. I always had something to shove on the back of the tail so that I was never worried about that part.

I was told to do that and just leave it on there while it grows up. But I'm like, why do I have it on there? I'm not going to be touching this thing, right? So there's your fun fact for the day. If you've you want to wean a stingray into food and you're worried about the tail, put a glove on it, put a rubber band on it, whatever you want to do to try to protect yourself, but know that it's only a tiny tube protecting you.

I'm just looking at you and just sheer stupidity.

Anyways, my roommate comes up to the tank while I'm watching him die and it's like, what's happening? Why is he doing that? Like he's choking on food. And then he just sits there and looks for me. And I think that's how you're going to go someday.

With a ham sandwich.

So you got to put on your suspenders and you got to measure twice, cut once. That's what I mean.

That's right. This is coming from the guy that I called stubs because you cut your fingers off last week.

I measured once and I cut twice.

Cut twice.

Both fingers.

Both fingers.

All fingers down to the bone.

Professor dumas.

Excuse me. That's dr dumbass.

Dr. dumbass.

Who's next? Well, Adam, do you think some in that time?

Well, I kind of did.

Well, kind of.

Tell us what happened, Adam. So you fall off your stump or what?

Adam didn't do his homework this week.

Are you the one tricking this week homework?

I just didn't do the right one.

Oh, that's right. We decided the last minute Change podcast. That's kind of our fault.

It is, yes.

So.

This one time on band camp no, not this one time.

This is big. It's stuck in the trumpet.

Yeah, it was a flute.

And the flute, for instance, it was a tin whistle.

This is going nowhere, man. No, it's not.

Are we going to veto you again? So it's going to happen?

No, I don't have anything. So you keep going.

I got like two more.

Do you have two more?

Should we finish off with that?

Finish one, two more. I had one.

Well, get it out.

Trying to.

So I was doing I was just starting with fish, and I didn't do a lot of research because this was the early ninety s. And his laws didn't matter.

He was listening to barbie Girl. It's distracted barbie girl. I'm a barbie girl.

Oh, God, it's been will you get.

Your story out, please? keepers.

Okay.

So you breathe these things? Yes. I got to hear about this. How do they mate? I mean, how are they you're not.

Getting very, very careful, very carefully, very slow. So what he does just I don't want to give you spoilers here because you have trade secrets. We don't want to give those out. Okay, sure. He starts out by grabbing a 80s boom box on his shoulder and starts playing you're the Inspiration by Chicago.

Oh, yeah, right.

And that song is right here.

Right here.

That's a beautiful that'll get any porcupine going right there.

Get them all thorny. Now, Adam, what's the biggest tortoise you have over there?

That would be the algebra. And I think he's pushing £200.

Wow.

Holy crap. The biggest salkata I ever saw was £400. And it took four full grown men to lift them. 60 more pounds. And that's Jimmy.

This is the part of the show where I say, I'm going to punch you in a throat and actually do it. But anyway, robs this weekend made some nice strainers for his bulkhead, and to buy them was how much, Rob? Like 910 bucks.

910 bucks.

And we needed to print about ten or so. And so that's about $100. And you probably printed them all for what, a buck 50, you thought?

Probably less than a quarter.

Right. So anyway, here's somebody that just printed all these, and they're beautiful. I'm holding one right now. And just to let you know, it.

Does look like the design I made looks like a butt plug.

I'm going to put it down now. That's disgusting. Just the average hobbyist. When you're buying a net, you want to buy the softest net you can get. I use a white net that I really liked. It's almost like a cloth.

Wasn't that your G string?

No, that was not my.

So you were gone and you had your son watch your house, so I contacted your son immediately.

As soon as you I know you.

It was wonderful because you're like, how can we prank Jimmy when he's gone? So we collected a glass you know what? This is a fun podcast. We collected a glass dildo and we put it in your tank. How long did it take for you and your wife to find it?

My wife noticed it in 27 seconds. She didn't put down her suitcase and she went, what in the hell is in my aquarium? And here's the good news. Her little discus died and she blamed you.

Oh, no. You killed her fish. I washed that thing vigorously, trust me.

Yeah, I'm sure you did. I don't want to know where you washed it or where you put it in to wash it, but yeah, one of her little discus died and she goes, robbie's nuts are mine.

All right, I'll have to buy her another discus.

So you might want to dodge the bullet when you come to my house and just duck in case a frying pan comes flying across.

She might kick him in the nuts.

That might be a better idea, yeah.

No, this podcast leans one direction and that she's going to punch me in the throat.

It's probably the first time that I have to pick you up off the floor after my wife knocks you out.

Right. In revenge of me killing a discus and putting a personable object in your aquarium. You decide that when I leave to go help one of our fine guests in West Virginia to come back and fill my bedroom pretty much 50% of the way up to my nipples of balloons.

Yeah, I put 150 balloons in there. That was a lot of fun for me.

Shame on you. You didn't kill any fish. Well, no, but it gets better. We're both sick when we got back because that's what happens when you travel, you get sick. I mean, that's the new 2020 thing is you got to get sick when you're gone. So we get back and I decided to use the blue laser that we got introduced to by Sean kramer on one of our prior podcasts that he uses to burn pests in his saltwater aquarium. So I grabbed that thing, I put my red glasses on and I start lasering these balloons, just popping off my laser beam and then realize that they're filled with baby powder and glitter. You douchebag?

Yeah, it was like going to the strip club wasn't around.

That's not glitter everywhere. One you shouldn't smell baby powder when you go to a strip club. And two, it was on our beds. No prep work side to take all the rest of the balloons out. We had to sanitize and clean everything because glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

It really is. I thought it was kind of funny because I was waiting for you to say something about the baby powder. I was going to tell you it was anthrax. Oh, great.

There you go again. Do you guys not understand? I am flying in June.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Adam, this message is not brought to.

You by Schmelta Airlines, not smelter.

Actually, we do have to use smelter on top of it.

You might want to change your name and maybe put a mask on because.

Profiling he's definitely filing for the tsa precheck right now. I would see what's happening.

I don't know if I even get qualified for that.

No, you'll be strip searched.

I mean, they basically go on the tsa precheck. Are you Arab? I'm sorry, you don't qualify.

And that's because Adam is half Arab.

Exactly. He has all the olive skin. He tans better than us. That is his sacrifices. He now gets felt up in airports.

I'd pay extra for that, actually. But that's me. Breeder or grower?

Breeder.

I start with endlers. Once I get my fish from going, I'll be putting in a bunch of stuff because I kind of want one of those breeder trophies, the breeder awards, because I've always wanted one of those.

Your wife should give you one for four kids. Just saying.

I didn't get any awards for that.

You just got a cigar and said, good luck.

Good luck.

I didn't even get that. It was more of a yelling. Lots of yelling.

Lots of yelling.

Or if your grandmother is in a home and she's on oxygen, just swing by, say hello to her, steal her oxygen tank, fill up your tank, and when grandma's blue, give it back to her. I'm just saying. I don't know how you get a hold of us. Rob can tell you about that.

You can't get a hold of Jim. It's specifically through a filter. He has his people. He'll answer the question through.

If you're to get a hold of me, you need to go out, do some smoke signals out in the yard and stuff. And if I'm out in the backyard drinking beer, I'll probably see it or.

Just have a big bucket of dump. frosting.

Donut frosting. Yeah, I'm more so picked on because I'm the old guy in the podcast. But you know what?

No, you picked on because you're the old fat and Jesus Christ.

And so stay tuned to hear what I do to rob's house next week, which will probably be involved fire or a payloader.

Is it bad enough when I wipe? I see glitter? Yeah, it's all your fault.

And in terms of amethyst, because we're from minnesota. It's prince baby. Purple Rain. amethyst. Makes sense to me.

We'll put a copy of Purple Rain right here.

There we go. Right here.

That's jim's favorite song. He cries every time, bro.

Buddy. We're 200 miles north of Minneapolis, and I've got one good print story and I got to tell it.

You better.

I got to tell it. A few years ago, when I was married to my first wife, we went down to Minneapolis and we went to a place called the tijuana Yacht Club. We went there. It's kind of like your local elks club, you know. And there was a band playing, and they said, hold on, we're going to get off the stage, but don't move. 30 people came on stage, moved the equipment around, and Prince came on stage in this little club. And he goes to me it goes to me. No, he says to everybody, he said, all right, I'm going to play some new music. He said, if you like it, I want to know. If you don't like it, I want to know. He played three or four songs from his new album and he finished it up with Purple Rain and then he left. Meanwhile, we're all drinking beer. mesmerized and we're going, Holy crap. I can't believe this happened to this little club.

No one believes you to this day. No, it all happened. It was some drugs.

It gets better. Of course, you've we've been drinking beer and everybody's like, I have to use a restroom. So we went upstairs to the restroom. We thought there was going to be less people up there. After Prince got done playing. We are up there. Myself and Steve hagen. My friend Steve, probably about six foot three, big guy. I'm pretty small, so three urinals.

You guys are like, as dudes do, go to the opposite end.

That's right. And we were there, and this big, big, large black gentleman came in and said, guys, don't move. And we went, crap, we're going to get rolled. And Prince came in right in between us and unzipped, and he's looking at the wall.

Did you guys hum Purple Rain?

No, steve and I are looking at each other because Steve can see over the top of Prince because Prince is so small. And I'm looking at Steve. steve's looking at me. And Steve goes, Great set. Prince goes, thanks. He zips up, wash his hands and lift. That's my print story.

So what you're saying is you mysteriously went in a bar where Prince, quote unquote, should have played, and then you had a pee with Prince.

I got to pee with Prince. For those of you who are thinking, did you look? No, I didn't look. First thing my ex wife said, did you look? No, I didn't look. Okay?

To be fair, that is the obvious question no one should ask.

No one should ever ask. Totally off topic again. Let's get back to it.

And then when he gets his fish in, he puts them under a shirt and tries to dance, like was it the rockets?

What are you talking about? Your nut job.

I don't even understand.

I don't know. Sometimes Robbie just goes off with a deep yeah. People, this is a fine example why some animals eat their young right here.

Robbie, are you saying that I'm fat and delicious?

No, I'm not saying you're delicious at all. Not even a little bit.

Damn.

Yeah. And maybe you should probably when you're running the microwave, close the dang door, because I think the little nuclear particles are getting to your brain. Sounded like the big heist in Grand rapids, Minnesota, when they stole dorothy's slippers from the wizard of oz, didn't I pretty much found it did in Minnesota. Yeah. Dominapse for those who are listening, adams from Grand rapids, Minnesota, which is a home birthplace of judy garland. And they had brought in the ruby red slippers, one of I think there's seven pairs ruby red slippers from the wizard of oz. And they put it on display in this small museum in Grand rapids. And in the middle of the night, somebody had knocked out a window, walked in and grabbed these priceless ruby red slippers and disappeared. And it took about eight, nine years before that was found.

You mean before you dropped it off at the airport?

Yeah, when I was done wearing them late at night, up and down the runway.

There's no place at home. There's no place like home.

No, I was wearing them, and I kept going up and down my hallway, and I was going that I'm too sexy for these shoes. Too sexy?

I thought it was more like I'm a pretty girl, but okay.

I would give you a dollar 50 just to get off my porch and quit selling me this crap.

Come on, Jimmy.

Will you buy my cookies? No, I'm not buying your cookies. Get off my porch.

Well, from going into your breeding room, I've seen two males and a female. I've seen two females and a male. I've seen two females together. But then at my house, when I got a bunch of tanks, we got my big tank with a bunch of angels. Two, a normal pair, male and a female breed in the corner. And on the other side of the tank, I had two males going at it, literally a blank slate. Two males melting all over it.

Yeah. What happens is the hormones get fired up in that tank and everybody goes crazy. It's like when they drop angel dusk at disco 54. Back in the day in New York City, when people were all dancing during the disco, they would actually drop cocaine from the ceiling. So people would kind of be snorting that and getting crazy. Crazy.

That explains so much of the 80s.

Well, that and it's really our fault, Jimmy, because we don't have angel dust for aquariums. We just got to stop wearing asphalt chaps in front of our aquariums.

That's you. I don't have assets chaps, unfortunately.

Well, then what's with the train whistle?

Yeah, that's another story. My God, it's got off track. It quick. Usually we get 15 minutes in before this happens.

So, yes, if you have gay angel fish, it's decently common. Don't be concerned that you have some.

Just accept them and love them.

Indeed, for the fish that they are.

You just go all because sails float and they throw it in, float.

When the sales float, nails will float.

Do they fart in their shell and they just can't get it out?

Nails will float to travel further. And so what they do is they just grab one and they don't check it to make sure it's not dead, throw it in the tank, in the bag. The people bring it home, throw it in their tank, and they have a rotting snail. And nothing stinks worse than a dead snail.

I agree.

Maybe a dead turtle. Then it gets their tank full of ammonia and all kinds of nastiness, and it kills off your tank, makes your tank stick with it and all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, one or not one or two dead snails will skunk up a tank pretty easy. When I buy mystery snails, I usually get 125. And when I go through them, I go through them with my nose. I just grab them and I shake them. You can hear like they're loose inside and most likely dead. But worst of all, they smell so bad that you can just pick them out. You have 100 of them laying there on a table.

I'm just imagining you in a big old bag of snails going, yeah, that one's good.

It's cheaper than cocaine, dude.

It's like you checking your underwear to make sure you can pack a bag for the week. Yeah, that one needs some love.

Lord.

All right, so sniff your snails. Don't sniff your pants. Got it.

There you go.

All right, mystery solved.

Hey, did you guys hear about the snail that came knocking on the door? You didn't hear about this? So the snail came up and knocked out on the door, and the guy looks down and sees a snail, and he goes, Why is this snail here? He picks up the snail and he throws it as far as he can. And about two years later, there's another knock on the door. He looks down at the same snail, sails, says, what the hell is that about? You get it?

Not at all.

It took him two years to come back. God, you guys suck.

Wow. If you producer, if you don't put cricket, I'm going to be pissed.

That is a good joke. It took two years for the shell, and then he said, what the hell is that about? Why did you throw me?

Hey, go shell yourself.

Oh, gee.

Go shell yourself. All right, moving on.

That was a good snail joke. So did you guys hear about the snail that was outdrive around town and all of a sudden a turtle pulled up to him and mugged him? And so the police came and said to the sale, can you describe the turtle? And he goes, yeah, he was green. Can you give me a better description of that? He said, no, it happened too fast.

Oh, God. In honor of that terrible party, if you like what you hear or don't like it, and you want to tell Jimmy to not make those terrible dad jokes anymore, go to Aquariumgyspodcast.com on the bottom of the website. You can support our show. We have a link down there for our site. Yes, thank you for the crickets there. And it's a little late, but it's there. You can donate one time or monthly. It's our replacement to patreon. It helps support the podcast. And again, we appreciate your patronage, like subscribe. And shame on you for those jokes.

Those are good, clean jokes. And I got them off the Boy scouts joke thing that they had on the Internet thing.

The Internet thing.

Yeah, the internet thing. I looked up snow jokes before I came over tonight.

That's why you were late.

That's why I was late, yeah. I was reading stuff on the Internet. It wasn't porn.

I'm taking away your phone. There's a big saltwater ocean stingrays that they're cool, but they make you feel like aladdin and you should ride them home.

Yeah, exactly.

They're bigger than you are.

That is flat.

Huge.

Let me tell you.

Rob'S a large man.

An ocean Stingray bigger than him.

What does that laugh from? You got to help me out.

That's from Fat Albert, man.

I hate my life right now. Thank you guys again for joining this montage that we put together of celebrating 50 episodes with the Aquarium guys. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to play just a couple clips that have never been aired before, just to give you a little background. One of them was an advertisement that we could not get because Adam just kept messing it up, so we had to have a little fun there. Another one was us doing a sound check, so we mentioned something about sticking Fisher butts. I hope you guys enjoy. We are truly humbled again, by 50 episodes. We never expected to we had no expectations, really. Our first time doing the podcast, like we mentioned at the beginning of the episode, was just a first crack at it, and it clicked. We we liked the format. It was fun. And above will also give us a platform to share information that we thought was sheltered in the hobby. And we'll continue to unapologetically share with you insider secrets in an entertaining, fun format. We believe that the hobby is filled with a brilliant bunch of intelligent, funny and brilliant characters that need their stories shown and hopefully we'll see you at episode 100 together. Thanks again. And here's your bonus clips.

Don't worry. Free shipping. fracking suck ass. frack wad, midget loving mother. fracking piece of shit. fracking denied.

So guys, welcome. And we're going to pull more fish out of jim's ass the entire episode. It's going to be like one giant anal bead. We're just going to slowly pleasurably pull.

Out of his anus and then maybe slowly shove it back up and do it again over and over.

Thanks guys, for listening to the podcast. Please go to your favorite place where podcasts are found, whether it be spotify, itunes, stitcher, wherever they can be found, like subscribe. And make sure you get push notifications directly to your phone so you don't miss great content like this.

I never knew that a Minnesota accent could be so sexy until I heard adam's voice.

Go frank yourself.

Don't you know that's my boy? Don't you know.